The Pimpstitute

FR: The 70% Movie Moment

2006-11-22T14:20:00.000-08:00

Man, my heart's still racing.

I've been practicing the Movie Moment over the last week or so. I just got back from a college campus, and I felt like I got pretty close to finally doing it. I'd give it a 70%.

Unfortunately, as Garrison put it, that's about as good as being 70% pregnant.

I first caught a glimpse at her when I walked through the cafeteria. Whoa, cutie! Peek. Yep, she's cute. I sit down. I take a deep breath.

I must've sat there for ten minutes. Getting the energy worked up. I imagined walking up to her, and just having every eye on the room watching me. I thought about how nice it would be if she liked me. I thought about every thought that I could think of that would get me more nervous than an AFC on his first night out.

Unfortunately, I still felt like I was only 70% there. I approached her anyway.

I walked up. She was studying.

Don't really remember what I said. She smiled ... ... ... "Thanks" ... ... and kept reading. Ouch.

I pressed on. I asked if I could sit down, "sure," she says. I bust on her a little. Kino, a little. A bit of rapport. She opens up a bit. She smiles. She has a test in ten minutes.

(I simply read that as her politely saying "no thanks.)

I stayed for about five minutes. She was smiling when I left.

I feel like I'll better next time. But overall, I felt good about the interaction.

Cheers :)

The First Set

2006-11-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

I just crystalized a thought I've had for a while.

The first set of the day is extremely important.

Whether you zip straight for the first cute girl you see ... Or if you let a moderately cute girl pass, because you're not sure if she's "cute enough" ... Or if you get nervous and say "I'll do the next one" ...

Makes a big difference on the rest of your night. It's almost like the first impression - for you - on how your game is going to go for the next few hours.

When your "first steps" are solid, eager, you're excited to talk to women, and BAM you're in your first set, the rest of the day will be super easy.

If you're tentative, even if you DO it, the rest of the day will lean towards being marginally painful.

(At least until you hit a great set - That'll turn a crappy day of game around real quick =) )

Cheers

Mini-FR: Asian Cutie

2006-11-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, she's gotta be the most asian chick I've successfully "picked up."

She's from a strange little country near Thailand. She's been here for two years. Typical, shy, straight A student ... Who also happens to be cute :)

I spied her out of the corner of my eyes, leaving the school bookstore.

I ran after her outside.

"Hey, Stop for a sec!"

Big smile.

"You're cute."

She smiles.

We stand there chatting for about 10 minutes. We didn't go very deep, but it felt very comfortable.

We decided we'd hang out on Saturday, and I grabbed her number.

We didn't set a specific time/place, I didn't tell her when I'd call or anything like that. So the "close" wasn't super solid - But she doesn't seem like she's a girl who hangs out with very many people at all, so I'm not super worried she'd flake. Cute guy, where else would you get one of those? :)

Cheers!

Your MOMMA was RIGHT!

2006-11-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

Today kicked ASS.

I approached five girls. And all five of them reacted awesomely.

I wasn't out "picking up chicks," I was simply out doing my thing, and talked to 5 cute chicks along the way.

One was walking her dog. She had headphones on.

One was getting in her car, and I pulled over while I was driving.

One was walking down the sidewalk. Also pulled over my car while driving.

I feel like I've broken a new level (not because of the results, but something in myself,) ... by stepping backwards a little bit. One key, key, KEY thing I realized a couple days ago was that I've just forgotten to smile. Learning techniques, body language, etc, somewhere along the way I just forgot that fundamental basic.

Once I realized that and I instantly fixed it. And I immediately started getting phenomenally better results. (After all, who wants to "blow out" a guy who's smiling?) =)

The other thing is how I dress. Ever since I discovered "The Community," I've ramped up my style a lot. But after a chat with a fellow PUA about fashion, women, and daygame, I really had to think hard. And I realized I was probably overdoing it, for many girls.

Now I just go with good shoes, good jeans, and a normal T-Shirt. Nothing outrageous, nothing super fashionable ... just a low-key cool guy. And it's been working awesome.

In other words, what'd I do? Smile. Be yourself.

... Your momma was right. :P

I feel kick-ass awesome right now.

Cheers!

The Breakup Report

2006-11-06T01:19:00.000-08:00

The breakup was messy and painful. But, I learned a lot.

I know Lance's philosophy on breaking up with a girl in a way that's as unpainful as possible. Looking at it from that perspective, I did everything all wrong. But I wanted to do it that way ... For experience, I suppose. I don't regret it, but I'll certainly avoid doing it this way as much as I can in the future.

I basically told her ... straight up ... This isn't working for me.

She cried. And I did the whole comforting her thing. Holding her while she cried on my shoulder. (Bad.)

She told me she really likes me a lot. That she's never had so much fun with a guy she's dated, and that she'd never find another guy like me. That other guys who want to be with her just don't do it for her. (I suppose, in a sick way that kind of stroked my male ego. But at the same time, I could see she was really in real pain.)

We sat there for at least 10 minutes. And then she finally reached for the door. Her hand lingered ... and we both felt the tension build. It was almost as if we both knew ... "When I open this door, it's all over." Her hand lingered there for a long, long time.

And then she opened the door. We said goodbye. And she left.

Wow. *Phew*

This was my first "real" LTR since starting with the "community."

I know I messed up setting our relationship's expectations since the beginning ... She was much closer than I was the whole time. (Which is probably the real problem ... Breaking up isn't the issue, it's the fact that she was so close that was the real problem.)

I don't suppose I logically learned anything I haven't heard Lance talk about before, but it's amazing how real something becomes after you've personally experienced it, as opposed to just knowing it logically.

(One key mistake I noticed was answering her calls every day. Even in the beginning, when we were seeing each other every 1+1/2 week, answering her calls every day just kills the distance I was trying to create.)

Anyway.

I learned a lot ... It was certainly very, very, messy, but I wouldn't change anything. It was very valueable experience.

Lessons Learned:

1) Breakup "Soft"
2) Set the relationship better

(Lessons Experienced may be a better term.)

Anyway. Cheers =)

FR: Hundred Set Sunday

2006-10-18T02:20:00.000-07:00

Oh man, it kicked ass :)

I won't go into all the sets. The biggest thing I learned was how much my style's changed - It just flows much more naturally now :)

I also got a Day 2. For ... today. I messed up really pretty bad on the phone and sounded like a total dumbass, so I just decided I wasn't going to waste my time and stayed home. I'm guessing she didn't show.

Man, I need to get more "traffic" through my pickup life. I think I'll be adding a Mission or a "Daily Task" soon.

Cheers!

Mini-FR, Life Update

2006-10-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, man, so much has happened lately. Over the last couple weeks or so, I've ...

1) Left my job
2) Am starting my own projects and business
3) Made my first $160 online
4) Lost my virginity

Exciting times man :P

Anyway, here's a quickie FR. Attempted Movie-Moment, and I pretty damn close!

My butt's been planted on the seat for the last two hours. Starbucks. I'm brainstorming marketing ideas for my projects. I see her waaay on the other side of the room.

Her back to the wall. Bag on the chair next to her. The only chair available is directly accross.

I'd have to walk directly up to her. There's no way to come accross offhand. There's no way to kino accross the table.

Absolutely worst possible conditions for an indirect approach.

Fuck it. I'm going for the movie moment.

I sat there for 10 solid minutes. I let the energy build and build ...

But I still didn't quite nail it.

I talked to her for about 5 minutes. It wasn't on. I smiled, nice to meet you, and left. At least I made her smile :)

Cheers! ;)

P.S. - Tomorrow's "100-Set Sunday," so look forward to a post from me :) I'll also be posting more often now, even if it's just short posts.

LR: Virgin No More

2006-10-03T01:28:00.000-07:00

See title. (Same girl as last post.)

Here's the thing though - - As some readers suggested, she'd expect us to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

After dropping her off, she asked ...

"heeey ... are we ... like ... you know ... ?"

I busted on her. She wanted to know though. My answer sucked. (We've been dating two weeks ... lets see.)

This confirmed two things for me:

1) My "expectations setting" skill needs work. (Seeing her 1-2 times a week, talking on the phone once every day or two days ... etc. Needs lots of work >_>)

2) Just because you had sex doesn't mean you're bf/gf. (I "know" that, but it sinks in on a much more primal level when you really hear it from a girl.)

Anyway, huge step =) I'm happy.

Cheers!

LR-: Still A Virgin

2006-09-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

I just dropped her off. She was at my house for about 3 hours. (This is the girl from "FR: You are amazing ... I'm breaking up with my boyfriend.")

Let me get this off from the start - I came into the community as a total and complete dork, (and I'm quite proud of that :),) but that also means I came in a total virgin. The furthest I've gone was "breast fondling," with a reluctant asian chick who probably just didn't want to say no.

That changed tonight.

I invited her over to "watch anime." Well, we actually did watch anime, believe it or not. Then we started kissing. Clothes came off. Lights went off.

Fingers. Oral sex.

I reached for a condom. "Are you sure?" She says. I smile and nod.

But then here's the issue - I just couldn't get it up. It just wouldn't come up. She gave me like 3 blowjobs, but it just wouldn't come up.

After 20 minutes or so, we just layed there kissing and fondling.

Zomg.

Oh. Well.

She wants to have a "Slumber Party" next week. I'm taking Gunwitch's advice ... no wacking off at least 2 days prior.

Well, I had fun - We went to Karaoke, sang our hearts out, and I experienced everything but sex. It's a good night :)

Cheers!

Mini-FR: Oh My God No Way

2006-09-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

*Tap Tap*

She twirls around. What a cutie. Innocent face, brown hair tied in a ponytail, with a audrey-hepburn-ish dress and a small white bag. Mmm. Yeah.

"You're just so fucking cute I had to come and talk to you." I said, with a big grin on my face.

'Oh my god no way!'

"Hold on a sec."

I lightly move her shoulders, and peek over at her ass.

I comment in a loud and exagerated tone - "Well, your ass is kinda big, but you're still cute."

She gives the "I can't believe you said that!" look and laughs.

We chat. She's a tourist .. leaving tomorrow. Suxxors.

Well, it was fun.

Cheers :)

FR: You Are Amazing ... I'm Breaking Up With My Boyfriend

2006-09-21T01:52:00.000-07:00

We met in the outside patio of popscene, a dance club.

I have no clue what I opened with, or what the first few minutes of the conversation was about, but it was on. She was laughing, I was busting on her - We were soon holding hands.

In about 5 minutes, we were arm in arm.

Kino was awesome. Banter was awesome. She even said ...

"Oh my god, you are so cool!

Now, so far so good ... but here's the thing:

She told me she had a boyfriend.

I should've just ignored it. "Listening" to that "objection" set me back quite a bit.

Because of the boyfriend-objection - Which I knew logically doesn't mean anything, but some part of me couldn't help assigning it some significance - I originally played it as "nothing's going to happen." Even though she passed the hand test, and the banter was awesome. She was obviously 100% into me.

Anyway ... Long story short, I messed up a bit and didn't set a day-2. But in this case, she asked for my number ...

"Oh my god, you are so awesome, we should totally hang out!"

I didn't think anything would happen - But then, something that's never happened before happened. She texted ME first.

"Hey it was awesome meeting you, we should totally hang out sometime."

How blatant does it have to be? Over the next few texts and phone calls, we set up a day-2. Tonight. (I'm writing it as I got back.)

To be honest, I still wasn't sure anything was going to happen when I went on the day-2. All the non-verbal signs were a green light, but she's said she has a boyfriend.

We were originally gonna go to a cool coffee shop. I picked her up ... But then we got lost. We ended up watching a movie.

Then we went to a club. She was a bit shy - I was being social.

We sat down ... Held hands ... Mingled fingers ... held her body close ... played with her hair ... looked at her in the eyes ... and eventually we kissed.

Mmmm.

We stayed a little while, then we left to take a walk down Pier 39. Light rapport talk ... more kino, more kissing.

We grabbed a quick bite at In & Out, and I dropped her off. I pulled up in front of her house.

We kissed.

And she said ...

"*sigh* ... You are amazing. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend ... He's a jerk anyway."

And she didn't mean it in "the good way."

Cheers ;D

FR: Seseme Street, Take 2!

2006-09-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

This was an awesome set.

I walked up. Got her attention.

She looks up, polite-smile ... I say - "I'm kinda lost ..."

Oh! She says - Where are you trying to go?

I look at her. Relaxed ... playful. I pause. I let a little tension build up. "Seseme Street?" I say. She looks at me. I look at her.

She bursts out laughing. I kino, and sit down.

'You know what ... I'm sorry ... this relationship just isn't gonna work out.' She blinks. She laughs. Kino. 'Girls I date HAVE to know where Seseme Street is ... It's a wierd preference, it's not you, it's me, really!" - She laughs again.

Hand test. She squeezes.

I go into rapport. I shared about the moment when I parted with my highschool best friend. She shared about losing a friend in highschool. We talked about adventures, friends, ambitions ... (She wants to be president, I want to be a multi-millionaire ... ;) Fun topic.)

We should hang out sometime.

"Yeah, that could be fun." She says. Whaat?

"Ahh, nevermind, that's not good enough." She looks at me like o_o. "You have to be excited! Like Yeah! We should hang out!" She goes "Totally! We should definitely hang out!"

That's better.

We pick a time. I pick a place. We exchange numbers. "I put it under Stef F, because it Rhymes." She says with a sheepish smile.

I have her get up and give me a good hug. See you Wednesday, and I take off.

But see, I screwed up. I didn't take out the phone and call her on the spot. Now, in addition to the benefit of adding to the playfulness/commitment, that also does one more thing - Make sure you have the right phone number. I looked through my phone - And I couldn't find the number.

Did she not put it in? I doubt it - There was never any resistence in the set, at all - She liked me, I liked her, and we both know it. My guess is she put it in and closed the phone before she saved it. It's happened before.

Aaak. *Head bash.* (It seems every "PUA" who's been active for more than 6 months has his "I had a great set and didn't get her number!" horror story.)

Anyway. It was still a great set - I didn't get her number, but I still learned a lot.

Until next time.

Cheers,

- D

Mini-FR: "You're So Cute!"

2006-09-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm walking straight. She's walking towards me. I don't see her very well, but I could tell she looked at me.

She turns.

"Excuse me!" I say

She turns around.

"Do you know where the office is?" (College Game)

I walk and turn at the same time, to stand next to her.

"Which office? The staff office .. .or the blah office ... or"

I playfully kino

"Actually ... I just came to flirt with you. Whiiichh offfiicee ... ahhhh .. .you're such a cute little dork :)"

She laughs. And then she says ... ...

"Oh my god, you are SO cute!"

Oh yeah, baby.

(I fucked up the set by not doing the hand test & escalating soon enough ... I'm still kicking myself for this. She was SO fucking cute, I just wanted to grab her and fuck her on the stairs. (What I mean is, she's very cute ;) ... I think you get the point :P) She ended up going to class because she's "very late" - But I know if I escalated properly she wouldn't have "had to go." She certainly liked me :) )

Cheers!

She Flaked

2006-08-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

Girl from "FR: Short and Sweet" flaked.

;/

Random Musings - Momentum, Hand Test, Moving Things Forward

2006-08-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

Musings and observations from recent experiences that were left out of Field Reports.

Momentum -

I've noticed it seems I either don't get day-2's/number/whatever at all, or I just get whole bunch at once.

I've heard Lance talk about this concept before - Momentum. One of PU101's instructors, Nate, got incredibly good in a span of a week. Although he's improved a lot outside of that week, that was the time that he really made the fastest and most significant progress.

Likewise, I've started going out to Popscene weekly, I've started to go out to CSM much more often - I may even try to go every day.

It seems like I'm picking up a lot more momentum the last couple weeks. Over the last 7 days I've had 3 "scheduled" day-2s, although two didn't come through. I'm hesitant to call them flakes, since I only called them once and didn't leave a message; it's more likely my fault. (One of them probably didn't even know it was me calling.)

Anyway.

Hand Test, and Moving Things Forward -

The hand test in the last field report.

I lightly grabbed her hand - She squeezed. "Yes! I got attraction" - I thought to myself. And I let go.

I didn't give her a little squeeze, to see if she'd squeeze back. I didn't start playing with her fingers, to see how far she's willing to go.

Not that big a deal ... right?

I've noticed it actually is pretty important - It's a common thread throughout basically all of my game. I have kino, and I previously thought my sticking point was that I wasn't moving things forward intimately (in terms of touch,) which is true, but I don't think that's the best way to phrase it.

My sticking point is that I'm not comfortably pushing things forward, as quickly as I can once I know she's comfortable.

That includes moving from non-intimate touch to more intimate touch. That includes progressing the hand test once I know she's attracted. That includes a multitude of things, but I think that's probably the best way to phrase it, especially in the context of kino.

Previously, I've been working on doing more intimate kino. Now I've made progress in that area, it's time to move on to making sure I progress that kino, and keep moving forward as long as she's comfortable.

Cheers :)

FR: Short And Sweet

2006-08-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

College again =)

Wandered around a bit. Lalala. Not much happening - I was about to leave, and I spot a cute girl walking my direction.

She's wearing sunglasses, so I couldn't see her eyes - but I could have sworn she looked at me. Yeeah!

"Hey ... I'm kinda lost ..."

I walk around her to break her "frame." She turns.

"Do you know how to get to Seseme Street?"

She laughs. I call her a brat. She laughs.

Quick rapport. I recently developed a great response to "What are you studying?" (Or doing,) that I use to make myself pretty vulnerable pretty quick. We build a decent connection.

She's holding a starbucks drink. "Is it good?" I ask. It is! She says. She lets me sip - I take the drink out of her hand and replace it with mine. She squeezes - Attraction. What a rush - Mmm, I love that feeling.

We set a day-2 for Wednedsday.

The whole thing lasted less than 5 minutes. Short and sweet.

FR: Kino Is Back

2006-08-18T03:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's getting better anyway.

Popscene - 18+ club with a nice atmosphere. I had a lot of fun tonight - Just having fun talking to chicks, dancing, etc.

Before we started, I gave one of my wings two $5 bills. I told him if I didn't do two hand tests, don't give them back to me. By the end of the night, I'd done three. (Two positive, too :) )

Also, I got a Day-2 with a girl on Monday. I did the hand test, but we didn't hold it for very long - I also had my arm around her shoulders, and some pretty good kino. It wasn't as good as I've seen some of the "pros" do, but it's definitely getting better.

This Day-2 I'm still not entirely sure if she expects it to be a friends thing or a sexual thing. It's definitely tons better than my last few day-2s, which just bombed. I'm looking forward to the learning experience :)

Oh, and the girl from college - I lost her number x_x .. Oh well.

Cheers ;)

FR: College is BACK!

2006-08-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, the hotties. <3 College is back.

First day of school. I headed up for about an hour and a half before work.

An interesting experience - As I was looking for parking, I started to realize just how many hot girls, my age, there were here. And I just got like a wave of Approach Anxiety. Whoa! That was interesting.

Anyway, I managed to find parking and went on my quest for college chicks. (Rawr!) There's probably only two worth mentioning .. .. ..

A short little cutie named Sandra. (What's the point giving her a name like HBShnittlestickswithcreamdidImeantioncheese if none of you ever meet her anyway?) I didn't get a good look at her face before I approached her. She had a cute little body - Her jeans kinda sucked, but hey.

The moment she looked up, BAM, it hit me - Two things - 1) She's cute, and 2) I went to highschool with her, and I was a fucking dork.

I totally recognized her - I'm sure she recognized me as well, and just didn't say anything.

Well anyway, it didn't last long and I left about 5 minutes later. It was a fun experience though - She was a girl who used to be sooo high above my level I would have jumped out of her way if she had to get to the bathroom. Now it's like ... "Eh ... her jeans kinda suck ... but she's cute ... alright, I guess."

Anyway, onwards!

Cute girl, sitting down, I open with "Hey ... I'm kinda lost ..." She goes "Oh? Where are you going?" I grin, step back, give her a flirty nod and go "I'm looking for Seseme Street?" She goes ...

o_o

And then starts laughing. I call her a dork, she laughs again. I sit down. I go into the questions game. She catches on.

Lasts about 15 minutes. Day-2 on Friday.

Kino sucked though. I got light kino in, but nothing intimate. This is starting to be an obviously big sticking point for me. And day-2s without good kino just fizzle out - I got enough freakin experience with that ;P

So, we'll see how this goes.

Anywho, college is back in season, and it's gonna kick ass.

Cheers :)

FR: Adventures at the DMV ("I'm Friends With Niel Strauss!")

2006-08-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, she said that, not me.

9:20 rolls around, my alarm clock zaps away my pleasent dreams of fuzzy bunnies. Crap, I have an appointment at 10:00.

I show up, (on time, even,) get my appointment, and flip on my cute-girl radar.

Bee bebebeebebebeb beeep

Hmm, I see one. Pa! Time to go talk to her.

I open with "You're just so cute I had to come and talk to you." Her reaction was "Oh wow, okay :)" .. Not in a "You're cute too, I wana talk to you!" way, more like "Well, you seem like a cool guy, I'm waiting for the DMV, sure, lets chat." way.

I could have probably bantered a bit more. Attraction didn't really happen. Anyway, I digress from the point.

We talked a bit about burning man, then she asked me what I do. I have a response for it if it comes up too early, but I'm just like whatev. I tell her I work for a company that helps guys get better with women.

"Oh! Like Niel Strauss in The Game?"

"Haha, wow, you've read The Game?"

"Yeah! I'm friends with Niel Strauss!"

It turns out she met Niel at a "The Game" party through friends. We talked about The Game and Project San Francisco for a little bit. (One part I took away from the conversation was immediately how at ease and easy it became. I wasn't "trying to build rapport," we were just having a fun conversation.)

And then my number was called. I didn't bother asking for her number, as it wouldn't have gone anywhere. I left her to contemplate her adventures with a PUA.

Oh, did I mention I still need a smog test? Stay tuned for Adventures At The DMV, Part II ;) (Comming Soon To A Post Near You!)

Rough, Rough Night

2006-08-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

City Nights in three words - Loud, Crowded, and Obnoxious. It's definitely a more challenging venue, but I definitely plan on comming back.

First set was a complete disaster. I got blown out by a three set, hard, in front of about 50 people in line.

"Well, that's one less guy to compete with."

Says the guys in front of me. Ouch.

Fuck you too.

I check my BL and put on a shit eating grin. That ain't stopping me. I'm here to roll.

After waiting for 15 minutes, I finally got in. I did about 10 sets - None were spectacular, none really sucked. Game or technique wise, I didn't really improve.

But I learned something about myself. No matter how shitty the night goes, I'm confident enough in myself to know I'm just a few steps away from the one good set that I need. If a set doesn't go well, well, that means the set doesn't go well - I still rock.

The one decent set was outside the club, after I left. "Phew!" I said to myself ... It was a pretty rough night. Alright! I still learned a lot, and I'm definitely comming back - It's a tough spot, but it was fun.

Three girls are walking my way. Last set of the day. "Hey guys! Do you guys know where ... Seseme Street is?" They blink .. .. ..

One ..

Two ..

Three ...

They burst out laughing harder than the dumbass in the Aviator.

Well, that was fun.

Cheers ;D

P.S. - Recently I've gotten a whole lot more to work on. Part is from watching my Hidden Camera videos, part is from going out with PU101 Instructor Daniel, part just from myself.

1) Talk slower ... Way Slower
2) Frame shouldn't be "Trying to get her," which I'm subcommunicating, but "You're kinda cute ... but I'm still trying to figure out if you're good enough for me."
3) Amp up the Kino ... I actually thought I had good kino, but I've realized compared to the "pros" I still have a long way to go :)

Update On Life & A Mini FR

2006-08-07T01:17:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted for a while.

We went out to Union Square today. I got a day2 for tomorrow - It's very, very flakey, it seems - I don't know why I'm even bothering. She keeps telling me to "Nono, call me!" every time I say '...you know what, nevermind.'

Well, we'll see.

College starts on August 16th. I'm going to be active as fuck and get my ass out there 3-4 days a week. College chicks <3

Aside from that, I'm prepping to go to burning man for the first time in my life, so I'm fired up :D

Cheers

Day-2 FR: I'm not interested ... but lets go shopping?

2006-07-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

So, met the girl from Popscene today. We said we'd meet at Union Square, but we didn't pick a specific spot - We said we'd call. (For the guys who don't live in the bay area, Union Square is almost like a park - A big open area.)

So she called . . .

"Heey .. *banter banter* I brought my friend ... is that okay?"

Ugh.

"...Noo, that's not okay, I wanted to hang out with you" I said, in a playful tone

'Ahh, hold on ...'

I hear her talking to her friend - Asking if she could leave.

She ended up staying until 5 mins after we met, then she took off.

The day-2 was either going nowhere fast, or it was going nowhere, fast.

So I tried to get things moving - I started by trying to pull her in, like a boyfriend/girlfriend would. She didn't "fall" into me, and just wasn't receptive.

We talked. She tended to walk fast and didn't match my pace. It might not seem like a big deal, but I felt that the vibe was off.

So I called it out. "...you know ... I talked to you on thursday because I thought you're really cute ... and I wanted to see you again because I thought you were cute ... but I'm getting the feeling that the vibe here's kinda ... really friendly."

She didn't say anything.

"... So what I'm saying is ... I'm wondering if you feel the same way."

She shakes her head.

Reeeeer *crash* ... pfff *burn*

...But we were on our way to Haight St anyway, so we ended up going shopping together. (Wtf?) The conversation was kinda surface level, but we had fun.

I think this is the fourth girl I've had a date with where the sexual interest just died with. That's definitely a real sticking point that I have to work on. The issue probably isn't in the Day-2, but in the initial approach - There was kino, but there wasn't any sensual/"Girlfriend Kino" (touching like we're boyfriend/girlfriend.)

I bid her goodbye and a good life - I'll probably never see her again. (She's going to study spanish in Mexico in 5 days.)

Well, the day-2 kinda sucked, but now I've solidified that I really do have something I should work on. It's almost definitely a problem in the initial approach - Not enough sexual tension, and not enough "Girlfriend Kino."

Anywho, the long awaited report of me blowing past this sticking point will be up soon ;) So stay tuned.

Cheers!

$20 Goal Of The Week: First Week

2006-07-17T02:29:00.000-07:00

Goals:

Approach 15 "sets" of different girls throughout the week. Easy enough.

Do the "hand test" twice.

If I don't hit the goal I donate $20. This should be fun.

Cheers

FR: Remote Vibrator & Public Masturbation

2006-07-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

I'll explain the title in a minute ;)

So, Popscene - Yeah, kick ass =) Tata, open sets, open sets, tata, weee.

Dance floor - She's cute, but she's not dancing! Aiyaiyai ... I walk up.

"Hey, you know what band this is?"
'blah blah blah band'

I don't even remember what I said ... I busted her on ... something ... she laughed, high-five hand test, hawt response. I said "let me as you a question..."

I gently grab her hand - She squeezes - I pull her off the dance floor. I steer her to a seat.

(By the way, it's 3:34 AM as I write this.)

Questions game. (Started out with "How do you like to eat those Oreas cookies?") It got pretty sexual - And pretty deep pretty fast :)

From "What's the worst thing guys do in bed?" (mild) to all kind of kinky fantasies.

Wearing a remote vibrator egg - while having dinner in public. Bzzzzzz

Fingering her while she's pressed against the wall ... and can see all eyes on her. (She liked that one.)

Of course, I don't just want to talk about sex - Being sexual's been an issue for me, so I've been pushing it. We got into pretty deep "rapport" topics - Childhood friends, moments with family, leaving friends for college, travel, dreams, etc. I got into a mini-deep-rapport-story when I left my best friend in middle school, after graduation.

Day-2 for Monday. I called her, and had her go "Ohhh maaa gawwd I miseed you Deereeek!!!" - She did great, she totally acted it out.

She's leaving in 9 days to Mexico for study - Eep. Well, we'll see how the Day-2 goes ... if all goes well I'll see if I can get her to my place :)

Fun night, kicked ass ;)

Cheers!

FR: Sexual Tension & Tests

2006-07-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

*Set One*

Japanese girl on the train station. Opened direct - "You're so cute I just had to come and talk to you." She didn't hear me clearly. (Bad, BAD start.)

Problem - There was no sexual tension.

We talked for about 10 mins, train came, we sat together for about 20 minutes. "I have a boyfriend" right before we left.

*Set Two*

I'm still banging my head over this one.

It was like god himself laid everything out for me, and I fucked it up.

I'm on the train. (Second one, after transfer.) Super cute, fashionable hong kong chick walks up and SITS DOWN next to me. It's like, hi, can it get any easier?

I took too long to open - I should have just fucking said "Hi." I messed up rapport, the whole interaction was just rather terrible.

I was so busting myself for my terrible game, I almost didn't even ask for her number - I got it anyway. No way I could have tried for a Day 2.

Fuck.

(I plan on calling her - I haven't called an unsolid number in a while; and I want to start calling them now instead of just throwing them somewhere and losing them.)

At least this one had some sexual tension.

*Set Three*

I got off early, so I go talk to a girl; working. I open direct.

Within 10 seconds there's zero sexual tension. It's just ... stale.

We talk for 15 mins. I would have used to have thought that if I opened direct and stayed in for 15 mins, I was "in." I knew from experience there's no way this could go well - And naturally, she "had a boyfriend."

I'm noting a pattern here.

Before I go into the big set of the day, here's a few lessons learned:

*Lesson #1*

Sexual Tension is KEY - Direct is NOT enough. It is SO easy to go direct and have no sexual tension.

*Lesson #2*

"High Energy" isn't key in indirect daytime approaches, even WITH the pre-opener. The keys are:

1) She KNOWS you're flirting with her
2) There's sexual tension

I think conveying those two things WITHOUT going too high in energy level is BETTER.

Alright, on to the biggie . . .

*Big Set Of The Day*

I'm grabbing dinner before heading home. She's sitting accross from her friend. As I walk in, she glances at me - Twice.

Could it be more clear?

I get my dinner.

On my way out, I steel my nerves.

I take a deep breath.

I feel the sexual energy. The nervousness.

I feel all eyes on me.

My heart's racing. I picture the ground moving beneath my feet, and every person in the restraunt just staring at me.

I feel the energy build.

I walk over . . . Slowly.

"Hi ... I was on my way out ... and ... if I didn't come and talk to you ... I'd just never forgive myself."

She looks at her friend. Her friend looks back.

And they both burst out LAUGHING.

- Pause -

Now, if I were really aiming for the Movie Moment, this would be "bad." But my realization is, compared to my Direct approaches, which more often than not have been sucking lately, THIS is key - Laughter = Sexual Tension.

In other words, Direct doesn't have the sexual tension from Banter - Just telling her she's cute does NOT generate sexual tension. Being in state does - And it's KEY.

- Play -

Introductions. Kino. I grab the girl and tell her I'm only going to borrow her for a second.

Mistake #1: They laughed, so I should have bantered a little longer and built a little comfort before I isolated.

We start talking, one on one. Rapport is shallow. We talk for about 5 minutes. I try to get a Day-2.

"Oh ... I'm actually seeing someone."

"..Cool ... So what are you doing Tuesday?"

Test #1: Pass. She said she had school - But she wasn't bothered by the fact that I blew off the "seeing someone" completely.

She said she was busy.

Mistake #2: I tried to find another time.

We go a little off tangent. Then I find a time we can meet.

"Well .. like I said, I'm seeing someone ... ..."

"That's okay ... I don't mind."

". . . well, I do mind . ."

Test #2: Fail.

Do you have MySpace?

"I don't do MySpace ... Are you like one of those girls that spends their whole life on MySpace?"

'Noo, I just check it!'

Day-2 wasn't going anywhere.

Mistake #3: I tried to get a number. (#1 - What's the point? #2 - Needy.)

"Mmm ... I don't give out my number to strangers. That's why I asked about the MySpace ..."

"Mmm ... okay. So, give me your number :)."

"mmm .. ...."

Test #3: Fail.

Nice to meet you.

Goodbyes.

*In retrospect*

She was attracted. NO question - did I mention the hand test? Passed with hot, blazing flashing colors.

I fucked up the rapport; badly at that. I didn't make a strong impression. In fact, if I hadn't opened well I'd be batted right out.

Important Point: She WANTED me to pass her "tests." She wanted nothing more than me to slide pass all her objections and go on a date with me - Why'd she pull that MySpace thing? Who knows. Women.

Lessons Learned:

1) If they laugh, banter & comfort first before isolating.

2) Sexual tension is still key - And approaching with an intense direct is a great way to generate that tension that wouldn't otherwise be there.

Whew ... that was a long post.

I messed up a few good sets, but it was a good day - Definitely educational, and I have tons to work on now.

Cheers ;)

FR: Union Square

2006-07-09T20:16:00.000-07:00

So, I went to Union Square. Some interesting observations:

1) I've noticed that one-off approaches - As in, if I'm taking the train, and I see a cute girl and I decide to approach her, or I see someone on my way to work - Seem to do way better than 20 sets during "Daygame."

My one-off day-2 "close" rate is over 50%, but "daygame" doesn't seem that way.

2) I realized all my Day-2's so far have been from single girls. ("Lone Wolves.") In daygame, I do just about every set I see, including 2-5 sets; which I'm just not that good at yet. Maybe that explains it.

Anyway, the results-wise today was pretty bad - One phone number, which I don't intend to call, because she's not really cute and I don't really like her. (And she lives an hour away, so it'd be too much trouble.)

I got a lot of "I have a boyfriend"s today. About half were polite rejections, and since I've been there for more than 2 minutes attraction probably isn't happening, so I leave. The other half were girls who were interested, we had a great vibe and conversation, who sincerely had a boyfriend.

My strategy was:

"...Cool, so what are you doing Tuesday?" (Ignore it)

Still needs work :)

Anyway, today was fun - I met up with a lot of old wings I hadn't seen for a while. There were probably 10-15 guys out yesterday, it was interesting to see a PUA in every corner of Union Square.

Cheers

sljfaodifuoe8wufo;wuq;outo8q324ut;o43uo43u

2006-07-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

She flaked.

When I said we should hang out, she said "Fuck Yeah!" - So I'm 50/50 of if it's a flake or a geniune mistake. Daytime numbers are almost always real; too.

Anyway, I'm ticked off - I was excited about this girl.

I'm fucking motivated now. I'm going for daygame tomorrow, and I'm gonna try to get two Day-2's. I've gotten 4 before; and I've seen a PickUp 101 instructor get 5 in a day; so it's a decent goal - Even if it's results oriented.

Shut up, I'm pissed off.

I'll be back tomorrow ;) Count on it.

FR: 20-Set

2006-07-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

There were a crowd of highschool girls, waiting by the bus stop.

Mmmm.

"Alright guys!" I open

"You're all cute, but who's legal?"

Two start laughing - "C'mon, nobody?"

I put my arm around a girl. "Alright, who wants to go to jail with me?"

More giggling.

Then the bus comes. I try to pull the cute one aside - "Nooo Nooo, I can't"

:( Aww.

Well, it was fun :P

FR: I Lied To My Parents To Go See This Guy ...

2006-07-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

I met a girl at the train station.

I opened with "Hi .. You're so cute I just had to come talk to you."

'Oh ... okay ...'

She locks up and starts to walk away. This has been a sticking point for me, but I made somewhat of a breakthrough on Saturday with it ;)

"Whoa whoa hey, you're not just gonna walk away!" I say, playfully.

She turns around.

"I'm Dare"
'I'm Jessie'

I go into the questions game, starting with Oreos. (Hey ... you know those Oreo's cookies? How do you like to eat them?)

She jumps right on. We play the questions game for the next 20-30 minutes.

Another thing I'm working on is being more of a sexual threat. Instead of just rapport talk, I sprinkled in lots of dirty talk and questions.

"What's the biggest mistake guys make in bed?"
"What's one thing you would never do no matter how much your boyfriend asked?" (She was like mmmm .. .. I said "Anal sex while tied up?" She laughs and says 'Yeah, there's that xD' and keeps laughing)
And so on.

Although I got the "Sex Talk" in, I still don't feel like I really got the "Sexual Kino" in. Something to work on for next time.

Turns out she's on the BART to Concord ... To see a guy she met at a Party (once), for July 4th. She lied to her parents to go. Naughty ... I found that hot.

She's a bit of a party girl, but something about that adventurousness turns me on, so I'm on board.

She's also 16. (I'm 18.)

I set a Day 2 for Friday at 5:00. Got her number, said I'll call thursday night (should have probably been more solid on that.) Normally I'd feel pretty confident on this, since we talked for a long time, had a connection and had fun, but she's young and meeting a guy, so we'll see.

All in all lots of fun ;)

Cheers!

New Opener!

2006-06-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

Went out tonight. No explosive blowouts or heart shocking successes to report ;) But I got a pretty damn good new opener :D

I call it the "Bad Read" Opener. I clap my hands, point, and make a random comment about someone in the group. "You're a lawyer. You wanted to be an artist when you were a kid." All delivered with high energy body language and a big fat grin.

Try it :) It works great.

Cheers!

The 180 Degree Turn

2006-06-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Someone asked about the 180 degree turn (opening from behind) in my last post, and I think I've gotten the question before, so I made a little illustration ;)

Here's how it works: If a girl is walking one direction, and you try to stop her, as long as her body is still going in that direction, she will just keep going. (She'll say something like "Anyway, I gotta go shopping now ... I'll see you later. :) It was fun talking to you.") Even if she's smiling and having fun, 90% of the time she will turn around and walk away. She's in that "frame," and it's just what she does. It's her momentum.

So in Example 1, if you walked up to a girl and opened her from the side, without turning her body at all, she's still facing and looking foreward. You have about 20 seconds, then you're done.

In Example 2, you open from a bit behind her and she turns to face you ... but her back foot is still "lifted." She's prepared to go back to what she's doing. Imagine you say to someone from behind - "Excuse me! What time is it?" She's looking at you instead of looking foreward, but the rest of her body is facing foreward. In this case, your set won't last long either.

In Example 3, as soon as you open you start stepping back/sideways. She will almost always turn with you. Once you've turned her around 180 degrees, she will put her foot down and tn her whole body around. Now you two are having a conversation. You're in :)

FR: "HB Nervous"

2006-06-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

After my day 2, I decided to talk to a couple girls since I had some extra time.

I spotted her crossing the street. I followed her.

I said "excuse me" and tapped/moved her with my hand.

(Note: I noticed if I say "Excuse me" the moment before I touch her, when my voice "registers," but I still have enough time to kino and have her move, the "getting-scared ratio" drastically drops.)

"You are so f*cking cute, I just had to come and talk to you."

She giggles and smiles. I step back/around her, and she follows. She's turned around 180 degrees. I'm in, yeah.

I ask her a question. (I don't remember what.) She asks me a question - What kind of music do I listen to? (I said something like "I've noticed in different points in my life, my taste in music changes.")

I went into the question game. She played along, and it went pretty well.

So far so good - but. I noticed every time I got a bit closer, she backs away - Not suddenly, and I don't think even consciously, but she somehow slowly shifts so she's accross from me instead of side by side. Time after time, at least 5 times.

Every time the "psychological distance" got a little closer, she backed away a little. I don't feel like I was psychologically too close, and I felt like my Kino was comfortable. (ie. I didn't feel like I was being too close or creepy. She wasn't leaning back or [i]feeling[/i] uncomfortable.)

She also had this wierd laugh/smile, which I think is some nervous way of releasing tension.

In other words, she was just nervous about sexual tension or me getting close to her. But, she responded very well and opened wide up when we started talking. (ie. She turned right around when I opened, she played right along with the questions game, etc. Consciously, she was very receptive, but I just felt like she was kinda uncomfortable in other ways.)

We'll see how it goes. I think I'll need to really make a sexual impression, or it will easily fall into just friends.

(Fuck, she had a great sense of fashion. She needs better jeans, but her dressing style was killer.)

Cheers

Day-2 R: Bye Bye Artist

2006-06-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Well, that's the second or third girl I "dated" (had a date(s) with) where it ended up with just a friendly vibe. I think I have something to work on here.

I got off work a bit early, so I talked to a few girls before the date first. I was in a pretty good mood from joking & busting on a couple cuties before I met up with her.

I sat down in the cafe and worked on some stuff while I waited for her to show up. She showed up a good 10 mins early.

We hugged.

"Oh my god, you're such an early bird, what, did you like rent a motorcycle and race here?"

She giggles. Kino.

We walk around the Union Square area. We did some people watching, and we talked a bit about our families. We talked about her passion for art, and my passion for business.

I sort of got the feeling as we talked the sexual-vibe feeling slowly died a bit, even though the rapport-ey vibe was pretty good.

About halfway through the date, I realized if I didn't amp my kino I'm dead in the water. I started trying to get as much kino out of every laugh I could, but it was really too late. At a couple points in the conversation, I knew I should have just grabbed her hand. I chickened out.

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Anyway.

At the end she was like, "I really should go about now." I pulled her aside.

The vibe wasn't bad. It was pretty upbeat, we had a decent connection going. But it wasn't very sexual, and it wasn't very deep.

So I called it out.

"...You know, when I came to talk to you, I came and talked to you because I thought you were really cute. But right now, you know, I'm talking to you and I get the vibe that we're more ... friendly. Like, I thought you're cute, but I don't know if I get the feeling you feel the same way."

She said she thought I was cute. But she just broke up with a semi-ex-boyfriend in Cleveland, who she's sorta kinda going back to when she goes back, and she's "not really looking" for a relationship right now.

I translated it to: I had a chance (she did meet me for the day 2,) but I didn't make a strong, sexual, deep enough impression. But she said "I think you're cute" and "Don't worry, you're definitely cute" at least twice.

I wasn't going to try and "convince" her. Maybe I could have changed her state - I didn't really think of anything on the spot. She said she'd love to be friends. I said I'll think about it. (I really will. She's a cool girl who I'd love to go shopping with. I'd just feel like a pussy to "just be friends" with a girl I screwed up a day 2 with ;P.)

Anyway, it was a good day. I had a lot of fun =)

Cheers!

P.S. - I grabbed my momentum and talked to another girl right afterwords. "You're so f*cking cute I just had to come and talk to you" - with a big grin. Day 2 for Monday. =) (see my next post ;) )

FR: The "Universal Opener"

2006-06-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

"Hi" strikes again!

We were just wrapping up a workshop, when a cutie walked by. She stopped by her bike - I walked up.

And I said - "Hi!" ".. I thought you're cute, so I just wanted to come talk to you."

"Oh yeah you're cute too!"

Oh, I'm done.

Rapport. Went pretty deep too. Day 2 for Thursday. When I got her number, I tried to do the "Oh I'm so excited you called!" Routine. She said "ahhh I don't think I can do this." I wonder how I'll handle that next time.

Anywho, cheers! =)

FR: Luggage Pickup

2006-06-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

Who picks up chicks while lugging a 60-pound briefcase around Union Square?

There she was, sitting there, all cute like. "Hi!" - I opened with. (Yes, I opened with "Hi.") I just saw you sitting here, and you're so cute I just had to talk to you.

And so we talked for a good 10-20 minutes. We talked about what we want to do, what we're doing, childhood friends. Etc.

We're meeting on Tuesday. =)

FR: If You Kicked A Dog In The Balls ...

2006-06-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

What's the worst opener you've ever used? My friend and I were walking back from Kinko's, and we were talking about - "If you kicked a dog in the balls, would he bite you or run away?"

What does that have to do with anything? See - A girl looked at me. Locked eye contact. I looked at her . . . - "Hey! If you kicked a dog in the balls, would he bite you or run away?"

... And she opened. It was a good set :D

Observations from The Field

2006-06-14T00:08:00.000-07:00

Man, I havn't posted in a while. Why? I just havn't been out in field for too long ;/ I've done a few sets since my last post, but nothing's been worth mentioning.

Anyway, there's a thread on the Pickup Lounge about observations from the field. Here's mine ;)

I'm doin all Day-Time observations ;D

Observations from Indirect

1) Banter is easy once you get the first laugh. Banter was a major sticking point for me, (still getting the hang of it,) but once you get that first laugh in, it's so easy to just keep rolling and busting on them.

2) If you don't get the first laugh, you're fsked.

3) Really spike the energy on the banter. I literally jump back, clap, smirk, point with both fingers before I deliver my banter line - It's obvious I'm flirting.

(Minor point: I jump back before I clap. "Clapping" is a sort of bold/loud move, and I've scared girls by clapping before I do the little hop. If I do the little hop, it creates a little distance and clues her in on "something's up," then it's like BAM!)

4) You can escalate kino in daytime. There's this idea that you can't do certain things in daytime that you could do nightime. (I havn't done that much nightgame, so I can't speak for bars; but.) I've put my arm around girl's shoulders, sliding in and out, etc - As long as they're laughing. I'm looking away, I'm still talking - I don't feel creepy, so I know she's not creeped out. Create psychological space and you can still shoulder check, shoulder hug, rub, etc.

Observations on Direct

1) It's really easy to forget the Kino when you're not bantering and laughing. When I open direct, I tend to just skip banter altogether (I'll have to expiriment with banter after opening.) When I do, I tend to just mess up the kino first impression, which makes it a little creepy to kino later, which makes kino just weak throughout the whole interaction. I've found being mindful of it has just helped me to force as much kino as I feel I could into the interaction.

2) I'm still working on this theory - I think Direct should be used mostly in quiet enviroments. You can just walk up to a girl in a grocery story, Macy's, or wherever and tell her she's cute and you just had to meet her - But I've found it's just much more effective in those situations to just banter and flirt. (I can hear Sean typing his reply already ... ;D)

State and Confidence

1) Sleep deprivation affects body language. I've noticed when I'm lacking sleep, my body language is just less confident; and I feel less confident.

2) Opening right off the bat affects daygame as much as nightgame. If you walk around a mall for 15 mins wondering why you're not approaching, it's ten times harder than just starting off with a bang and riding the rush.

3) Doing "normal daytime sets" - ie. Sets without warmup, just a cute girl you see at the gas station, grocery store, etc, used to be really hard for me. The breakthrough moment was the day after I had an incredible state - I could approach anything, anyone. (The day of the nine-set ... I must have gotten 9 numbers that day too.) The next day I could still just approach a girl - even while I'm just grabbing coffee. It was like the three minute mile - It became much easier after doing it that one time. So if you have a great state, hijack it ;D

Random Observations

1) Most of the times I'm "blown out," I'm not actually blown out. The girls want me to succeed, but I fucked up. Most of the time, it's just that I didn't take the set to the next step when I should have. I bantered, but I didn't isolate. I get isolated, but I stay in shallow rapport for too long. Girls know on some level what the next "step" is, and when you stall in a stage of the interaction, they know it's over. (They want you to take that next step, but they're only going to wait so long.) (Not the next step in whatever "model" of PU or whatever, but just a natural progression in the interaction. Girls can sense it when the interaction stays in the same "place" for too long.)

2) There's sort of an "approach anxiety" along every step of the way. At first you might be able to open girls, but you're afraid to show your intentions. (You're my new tour guide!) So you just ask for the time; where Macy's is, etc. Then you learn to flirt, but then you get anxiety before you do the hand test, before you isolate, before you tell a story, etc. You're just stepping outside your comfort zone. It's the same feeling.

How do you get over it? I just set the goal before I go out that day. Today I'm working on X. It makes it even more solid if you tell your wings. "Today I'm working on indirect banter openers." I can't fall back on Direct if I already told them that, now can I? ;D

3) If you open a girl from behind, you won't lose her by stepping back/around - But it will stop her and get her planted. So do it.

Ouch .. .. Flake #3

2006-06-03T19:41:00.000-07:00

A...Ahh...Ouchhh ... *clutches heart*

Fake number. (From the union square from behind approach.)

Lessons learned:

1) Call it out if I think she'll flake. Ahh nevermind .. Even if we set a date, I don't think you'll show.

2) Listen to my body ... I felt like something was off. She wasn't really comfortable ... somehow.

3) Call her on the spot. Not as important, but should still be done.

On the bright side, that's my first fake number.

Cheers :)

Flake #2

2006-06-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, my date for today flaked too. I'm shocked. (It seems like a geniune flake. I'll probably see her again.)

Update: I texted back the other girl.

"Cool ... So what are you doing tomorrow? ;) =)"

Update: The Boyfriend Strikes Back

2006-06-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Update: I called her 3 times, she didn't pick up. I finally left her a message. She texted back:

hey Sorry i cant go out..i have a boyfriend

One Down :(

2006-06-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Sunday seems to be shot. Called her 3 times, didn't pick up. I finally gave in and left a message. I don't really expect her to call back ;/

Meet The Parents?

2006-06-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

My Day2's non-blood-related guardians want to meet me. Wow.

It's only a second date, too. This'll be an interesting experience.

FR: Union Square Fun

2006-06-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

*stretches* mmmm, yesterday was fun.

I had two goals: 1) Try to do the Movie Moment, and 2) Do indirect sets >well.<

Blonde and Brunett, Standing Set in Borders:

Opened with "Hey, you guys know where X is? Actually, just came to flirt with you." And then I busted on them. They laugh. I bust on them again. I don't even remember what I said, but the energy was high and they were having fun.

My wing didn't come in for some reason. I ended up just talking to the two girls for 10 minutes. The girl I liked was leaving in two days, and I didn't really get enough rapport to get a meet between then. Oh well =)

Dark skinned cutie - Walking (Same direction)

I made a bit of a breakthrough in this set, on my "from behind" game.

I saw her right before she crossed the stop light. I ran after her, tapped her and turned her around. I delivered my opener, she kinda smiled; but was still kinda turned in the other direction.

I started going into rapport. It was pretty good, I was getting medium rapport and she was following me, but her body was still kinda going towards her original direction.

Then I stepped to the side. Her eyes followed.

Then I took another step to the side. Her back foot came down and she turned to face me.

Bingo.

We talked about travel, why she moved, studies, dreams, etc. I didn't get too deep, but I got decent rapport. Meeting her 10:30 Monday, Steps of Rome.

(She was still kinda locked somehow by the end of the set, so I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't come through. I called it out a couple times, first playfully "hehe, oh my god, you're so nervous," then at the end ... "I don't know ... I get the feeling ... you're still uncomfortable somehow." She laughs, but I don't think she really unlocked. I should have probably called out that I thought she'd flake and not take her # until I got it out of the way. Anyway.)

Attempted Movie Moment - European Blonde:

A blonde, cute face, studying in Borders.

I took a couple minutes to get in state. I imagined everyone watching. I imagined walking really slowly. I got a bit nervous, but I don't feel like I really had it. I did it anyway.

I approached. "...I saw you over there ... I ... just had to come and talk to you ..."

"...Sorry, could you repeat? My english not very good."

Eh.

She smiled after I repeated.

So, Movie Moment didn't happen. I busted on her, she laughed. I introduced myself. I busted on her again.

Rapport talk. She's from Germany, came to study english, etc etc. Rapport was pretty good. Set up a Day 2 for Monday, 7:00.

She said she has a friend comming in town, she thinks she can make it but she's not 100% sure. It didn't sound like an excuse, she sincerely wanted to meet, but really had other plans. Since it's in San Francisco, I coulda either risked it or waited another week. I just went for Monday.

So, I got two Day 2's for Monday. I feel pretty good about it =)

I did a few other sets. I got my Banter rolling pretty well, my indirect game really improved today. I especially remember a mother-daughter set. They were about to cross the street. I opened indirect, started bantering bantering bantering. The light turned green. They had to go. I reached out my hand ... The daughter's fingers slides over mine ... her fingers flick over mine ... mine slide over her's ... it's like a wave. It was intimate. It was hot.

Today was a good day.

Cheers :)

Day 2-R: Yoga, Goodbye, and a Hug

2006-06-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

I met the girl from this post for a Day 3 today. (Union Square girl, aka "HBGrass.")

The date was a learning experience. I learned a lot, to even say I learned a lot is a major understatement. We ended with a heart to heart talk and a great hug - But I'll probably never see her again.

I picked her up at 6:00 at Union Square. We hugged. I started off with "You're such an early bird!" (Teasing tonality.) It didn't really hit; and I didn't really follow up on it. ("Must have really wanted the worm hmm?" Just didn't seem appropriate.)

I parked the car at a special parking lot. It's 6 stories high, and at the very top is a great view of San Francisco, with the ocean, citadel, and COIT tower. We drove up there, and had a chat on the rooftop.

I gave my unrehearsed, unpracticed deep rapport story. It wasn't so deep afterall. I didn't get the movie-moment-like heart wrenching vulnerability I wanted to get, but it was still a sincere story and I felt like it opened a connection. I told her about an experience that really made me a more independent person. She followed up with telling her story of how she became independent - a story about getting stuck overseas while being unable to get home.

We walked to Yoga 20 minutes later. We arrive a bit early, so I show her around. I feel like she was leading the interaction more than I was. Kino was still bad, there was still no tension and no intimacy.

After Yoga, we watched a movie. A friend advised me to sit next to the girl - try to escalate. I signaled for her to sit by me - She said, "I'll sit over there." That was basically the "I'm Done" signal, for me. (The whole interaction was basically a just-friends interaction with an underlying expectation of something more - It was just wierd.)

I talked to a couple guys before I left and got some really valueable advice. I decided to debrief her before we parted ways.

"You know ... when I saw you in Union Square, I thought you were really cute ... and I just really wanted to talk to you. And I felt like we connected. But you know ... I feel like right now, we're not really ..."

'It's like we're just friends, right?'

"Exactly."

We talked. I've explained to her that I help a company that coaches guys. I've shown her the San Francisco Magazine article. She knows the story - and she was really open about sharing the whole experience.

By Day 2, it was already clear to her we weren't going to be more than friends. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when that switch was flipped, but her words were:

"Yeah, it was just the things we talked about ... it's not stuff that guys I usually date talk about ... you know?" <-- I translated that to "I didn't build attraction/sexual tension early on in the first impression of the relationship."

She also confirmed that by the end of the approach, she was expecting something romantic out of the relationship. It just got messed up somewhere in the Day 2.

I asked her about lots of things.

Was the kino ever creepy? ("You were touching me? o.O" <- Good answer. For the light kino, anyway.)

When I didn't want to sit accross from you and sat by your side instead, was that wierd? ("It was certainly different ... it was like, hmm, what's this about?")

Why did you show up for another "date" if it was clear you didn't want anything more after our first date? ("Well ... I don't think I shouldn't hang out with a guy just because I don't expect something romantic to happen ..." <-- In other words, Lets Just Be Friends.)

She made some comments on my phone game. I take Sean's advice and always try to start out with a quick/exciting story - she said it just wasn't something she was used to. People usually start with "Heey, how you doinnngg, etc." She also commented that I don't leave messages. (I don't think it's an issue.)

She commented on the age difference. I'm 18, she's 25. She said it did have an impact. "The things we talked about and where we are in life ... just our life experience, I could tell was really different." <-- I kinda just heard "You didn't build enough deep rapport." (I might be wrong.)

Anyway, I gained some really valueable advice. I felt like we had a great chat ... She knew what I was about, and she really wanted to help me out. I was upfront with her on what I felt, and she was upfront with me on her experience. The "Date" ended with a hug - A really good, slow, intimate hug. A "I feel like we really connected ... I had a lot of fun knowing you ... You're an awesome person ... Have a great Life =)" hug.

Anyway, lessons learned:

1) I'm going to start f.ucking pushing Day2 first impressions hardcore. I'm just going to lay on the kino and banter - I have to be a sexual threat from the start. I'd much rather err on the side of going over the top than to have another Day2 go like this. (The Swiss girl is probably going down the same path - I'll probably have to call it out next time I see her.)

It's much easier to set an intimate, sexual vibe in the beginning of a relationship than to try to amp it later.

2) Unknown locations hurt. I met her in Berkeley, in a place I'd never been to before. She was sitting on a bench, with a chair accross from it. It made it very awkward to sit side by side, but I really didn't want to sit accross from her. That really hurt the interaction. In the future, I want to make sure all my Day2's are in a familiar location.

3) If I feel like the sexual tension, intimacy, or just attraction isn't there, call it out, and do it right away. As in 10 mins into Day 2, not 2 hours into Day 3.

I also learned a bunch of mini-lessons, but I'm not going to type them all up.

*phew.* That's a lot. Live and learn.

Anyway - here's to my first "breakup."

Cheers :)

FR: I have a boyfriend ... But we can hang out ;)

2006-06-02T02:03:00.000-07:00

As per my Movie Moment Mission, I got up early to hit some Cafe's. I dropped by 3, but I didn't get the chance to do the Movie Moment - but, I did get a potential Day 2 with a cutie, so I can't really complain ;)

She was just getting in her car. I walked up and tapped on her window.

I didn't even need to say anything. Her eyes beamed. She was just barely holding back a smile. Before she even rolled down her windows, I could feel her thinking - "Is he going to say what I wish wish wish wish he's going to say?"

"...*smile*...I saw you walking by ... and I'd never forgive myself if I didn't come and meet you." She smiles like a puppydog and her eyes light up like a christmast tree.

I get medium rapport pretty quick. I tell her about how I aspire to be an entreprenuer, and we talk about our feelings behind studying applied psychology. Rapport only lasted maybe 3 minutes, but it was at least semi-deep.

I majorly screwed up the day2 close. (But, I still think she'll show.)

She asked me for my number. For some reason, I gave it to her. (Then she called me and I got her number.) I picked a time - Sunday. I didn't pick a specific time or place. Eck.

But then she said.

"We can hang out sunday *smile* ... but we'll have to see ... because ... you know ... *whisper* I have a boyfriend. ...But, you know, we can hang out ^_~"

:D That's gonna be awesome. I hope it comes through.

Cheers :)

Mini-FR: No Missy, You Don't Have a Boyfriend.

2006-05-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

She's an American Express worker girl. Folding Folding Folding, she goes. Wee.

I approach with a light arm kino.

"Hey, do you know what time it is?" I say, while lightly furrowing my brow and tapping my wrist.

'Oh oh, it's ...'

"Jusst kidding, I just came to flirt with you"

'Oh! ... ha ha ha ..." <- She laughs, kinda nervously. Her Body Language doesn't change majorly and I'm not going to try to point out how I knew, but she was locked up. The atmosphere just changed.

"Did I make you nervous?" I said. I don't remember her reply ... but it was something like "not really .." (Attempt #1 at calling it out.)

"So are you from around here?" (starting w/ boring rapport) *replies*

*nods ... * "Hey ... are you a night person or a day person?" (opening into questions game)

Customer comes. Bad timing. They talk for like 30 seconds and I can feel my social value kinda droping from standing there, so I say "I'll see you later" and leave.

I almost didn't go back; but I decided I want to find out what her reaction is. I want to get as much experience with this, because once I figure out how to deal with this, I know my game will jump up several levels.

Before I go back in, I kinda run through the scenarios in my head. In my experience with this kind of lockup, if I get medium-rapport and try to get a number/day2, they say "I have a boyfriend." It's not a "Oh, I'm soo sorry I have a boyfriend," or a "I have a boyfriend and I like him but thanks you made my day :)," it's more of a "I don't know what to say, nyaa I have a boyfriend!" type of answer.

As I run through the scenarious before I go back in, I say to myself - She's gonna say I have a boyfriend.

I reopen with light arm kino. "So, missed me?"

'Oh!' *breath*

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

'Kinda'

"...You know ... I get the feeling you don't really believe I like you." (Attempt #2 at calling it out. Probably way way too late.)

'oh ... well ... I have a boyfriend.'

She says.

I'd bet $100 she doesn't have a boyfriend. I just fucked up, pretty badly too.

Movie Moment Mission: Day 1

2006-05-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

I went by Barnes & Nobles, the Library, did a bit of shopping then went by B&N again. No Movie Moment today, though I did give some girls smiles ;) (See Next Post)

Movie Moment Mission

2006-05-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

As Posted on Pickuplounge.com:

Hey Guys,

I've always wanted to do the movie moment, and it's always bugged me that I still couldn't do it - but after helping out this weekend at AoR, I finally decided I am going to do it.

So here's my mission:

Every day I will take one piece of action towards doing the movie moment. That can be anything from heading down to my local library, dropping by a cafe, swinging by Barnes & Nobles on my way home. Whatever it is, I'm commiting to expose myself to at least one opportunity a day, in a low-energy enviroment to do the movie moment.

Every day for the next 7 days (or until I do the movie moment) I'll post my progress, even if it's "I didn't do anything today, kick my ass please ._."

Cheers ;)

Day 2 Numba Two

2006-05-26T01:26:00.000-07:00

Woo, second Day 2 in a week! *dances*

A little bit about this girl ...

She does all kinds of dance, sports, hiking, camping, and leads kid's summer camps. She does dance on the side, but is currently looking for a job. She's hot, and she's smart. I met her in Union Square. Basically sat down and told her she's cute.

So, we met in a little restraunt called "Venus" in Berkeley.

She was sitting on the bench. There was a seat accross from her, I sat down. I immediately felt - this isn't going to work. I said "Hmm, this feels like an interview. I'll sit here. See, that feels more natural ;)" She was like ??? for a second, then just relaxed. I'm glad I did that; I'm sure if I didn't the interaction would have been much more awkward overall.

We talked about what we want to do, and what we're doing most. I shared some of my business asperations, she shared some of what she does and some of her dreams. I told her what I do, and she was like "haha, no wonder!" (Refering to the approach.)

I feel like the vibe was really good. Not super deep, but it was smooth and felt nice.

Again, sexual tension and intimacy was pretty low. >_>

I ended up paying. She didn't offer to split it, I didn't want to bring it up. I'm still not sure how I could have handled it better - In the future I'll just try to pick a better place. (Around $25 for both of us.)

We walked around for 10 mins before I had to run.

Up to this point, kino has been light taps. She was reciprocating pretty well with light strokes / shoulder slaps at various times in the conversation. I lightly grabbed her hand as we're walking. Hand kino is not-flat but not-super-hot. She immediately turns to me and has this wierd smile on her expression.

"Do you guys teach guys to grab a girl's hand and see how she reacts?" (While smiling.) (Well, the answer's yes; but I wasn't really going for a "hand test," I was trying to get a "hand holding." Oh well ;/) (So the "hand holding" didn't last more than 2 seconds >_<)

I think I didn't set the tone for intimate kino very well; and it became "what changed?" when I moved from conversational kino to hand holding mins later.

Anyway, it was fun :) We're meeting up for Yoga next week, so we'll see how it goes ^_~

Cheers!

- Derek

Day 2 Tomorrow is ON

2006-05-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Day 2 Tomorrow is ON

FUCK YEAH BABY! (She's HOT)

FR: First Date! ... Ever?

2006-05-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

I met my Swiss girl today. From my Drive By Pickup.

From a pick up perspective, I did everything wrong. I didn't have a plan. She doesn't drive, so we went to a cafe near her. My kino existed, but wasn't very good. Rapport wasn't very deep. I also got lost and was 20 minutes late. (Not on purpose, by the way.)

I was more preoccupied with the fact that I have my first day 2. (No day 2s for 6 months, and somehow I ended up with 2 in the same week :))

We grabbed a drink at Cafe Borrone, then walked around. We walked through the park, soccer field, outside city hall. We sat down and chatted a few times.

We broke into a primary school (the door was unlocked ;) so we went in) and played dodgeball, basketball and hopscotch for a while =)

We talked a bit about art, switzerland, travel, what we want to do. I feel like we touched the surface of a lot of topics, but I didn't feel like we were really going deep in rapport.

The Kino felt kinda abrupt ... I held her hands a couple times (she kinda held back, kinda not,) and put my arm around her shoulders a few times, and sprinkled "finger taps" (gentle tap with fingers, on her arms/shoulders/wherever seems natural,) throughout the conversation. I didn't feel like I was really creating tension and releasing it, or creating closeness or intimacy with my Kino. She started reciprocating playful kino (taps and play-pushes) in highlights of our conversation about halfway through the interaction. (It lasted about 2 and a half hours.)

Whenever we sat down, she faced me instead of sitting side by side, making it pretty awkward for Kino.

I also noticed I couldn't create much sexual tension. If I looked in her eyes for a while, she looks away. If I touch her and look at her, she looks away.

When I told her what I did - "I help guys be better with women" - She literally didn't believe me. She giggled and said "Nooo ... really, what do you do?" I came back to it once later, but I still don't think she believes me.

Towards the end of the date, we hugged (definitely not ready for a kiss.) I extended my hand as I was walking away, as a goodbye, and she grabs my hand back, firmly, and it trails, intimately. I felt good about the goodbye kino =)

Overall I feel like I didn't create much sexual tension, physical intimacy, or rapport. I feel like we're going more towards the "Slow'n'Steady Seduction" than "Fast Seduction."

Anyway, I feel good about the whole day. First date - Possibly ever =) (Unless a "date" with a girl and her parents, count.)

Cheers! :D

Plus One Minus One

2006-05-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

Day 2 is set & solid for Swiss girl (Drive Through Pickup) (Even though my "phone game" was pretty terrible ;P)

Day 2 from girl from Borders (Mini FR - Yay!) is down the drain. (She didn't even remember me >_>. Or, pretended like she didn't.)

FR: "I had fun talking to you! ... As a friend"

2006-05-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

I decided to swing by my local Barnes & Nobles to see if there were any last-minute cuties I could talk to ;)

Well, there was one!

Blonde hair, cute face, kinda homely energy. (She also had good jeans.)

I approached with "Excuse me ... I saw you over there ... *smile* and I just had to come and tell you ... you're unbelievably cute." She smiles. I sit down.

I get into rapport. Bam! Rapport was great. We talked about travel, childhood, what makes her feel free, what she's going to do, what she wishes she could do, what I want to do, dreams, hong kong, etc. We played the questions game; but the conversation flowed so well from every question that we only went back to it maybe 5 times. We talked for over 30 minutes straight.

And then ...

"I had a great time talking to you"
'Yeah! *laugh* I had a lot of fun'
"We should continue this conversation sometime"
'mmm ... okay ... but I'm leaving for Elsavidor next saturday' (Mentioned before)
"Alright (basically ignored the statement)... what are you doing tuesday?"
'mmm ... I don't have any plans ... but I might have to go visit my grandmother ... you could give me your number and we'll see?'
"mm ... well, I came over to talk to you because I thought you were really cute ... but I don't really get the feeling you feel the same way."
'mmm ... well, I had a lot of fun talking to you ... as a friend ... but if you want to go on like a date ... *makes face* sooorrrryy ... it's nothing personall..."

(HAND close - "(H)ave (A) (N)ice (D)ay")

And so, I learned a few interesting lessons here:

1) I don't think I've ever gone direct, got in rapport with a girl and have her not be attracted. That was really a shock to me. Which in a way is great; since I expect girls to be attracted to me now. In another way, it's good to know that that does happen, and to be ready for it.

2) I learned (or internalized) step 1 of Organic's "Solid Day 2 Close" game - Making sure she's attracted. I messed up the order, as I should have confirmed it first, but I really realized how important the step is.

3) I'm really glad I verbally asked if she was interested (since it was difficult to hand test, besides the handshake) and didn't waste time playing phone-tag when she probably would have flaked anyway.

Anyway, it was fun :) I didn't get any "results," but I gave her a smile for the night and I had a lesson to take home ;)

Cheers! :)

Mini FR (Yay!) + Mini FR (Ouch!)

2006-05-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Mini FR (Yay!):

Girl in Borders. She was wearing headphones and working on her laptop. I walked over ... and told her that I had to come and tell her that she's unbelievably cute.

Ran questions game for a bit; but she didn't really play along.

Rapport was pretty good; still not that deep but it wasn't awkward. Tried to day2 close:

"" = me
'' = her

"I had fun talking to you!"
'Yeah!'
"We should continue this another time"
'Yeah, that'd be nice'
"What are you doing Monday?"
'Mmmm ... actually, I have finals all week and I'm just really busy. I can give you my number though!'
"Mmm ... ... ..."
'Yes ... no?'
"Well, I get the feeling you're not really interested, and even if you give me your number I'm not sure anything would really happen."
'Oh no I'm interested! I'm just really bleh right now.'

And so I took her number. I wonder if it'll turn into anything. (I think the correct move is refuse her number and insist on a day2. Well, we'll see.)

Mini FR (Ouch!):

So, I went out for the first time, alone and to a new bar in my local area. The venue was smaller than I'd have expected, there were really only about 10 sets including all guy or old people sets. In other words, there might have only been 3 hot girls :s

I smiled and said "Hey!" and smiled to a woman outside. She smiles back and waves.

I opened a couple warmup sets. Walked through and got to know the venue a bit.

I opened a set and sat down. Introduced myself and got major attraction from the cute girl in the set (the handshake held for like 20 seconds and intimate trailing when we let go.) The three others were Old, Old (the woman I said "Hey!" to outside,) and Unattractive. I started talking to the group; banter - I called the cutie a brat. She bursts out laughing with her mouth wide open - but her (Old - woman outside) friend calls over the bouncer.

Ooooookaaaay.

That hurt a bit; but more than anything I was really, really surprised. Especially since 1) I was friendly with her earlier, 2) Her friend loved it. In retrospect, I 1) Only kinoed the cutie, and 2) Only bantered with the cutie. The friend felt left out, and when I called her friend a brat she took that as me flirting with her. I think if I actually called her a brat instead, she would have took that really well.

Well, live and learn.

The venue was small so I didn't feel like staying after getting kicked out of a set by the bouncer (and having my social proof shot out the window.) I went outside and sat in my car a bit. Stuck my :D smile back on, confident body language and strolled to the next bar. Irish pub - totally not my type. No hotties either :s

Anyway, I feel like I learned a lot from this experience. I learned more from "failing" and getting pulled by the bouncer than "succeeding" and grabbing that girl's number. I feel good that I went to a new venue, solo, in night-time, and I feel good that I recovered well.

Cheers! :D

"I'm 34!"

2006-05-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

I hit on a 34 year old today; in a nail salon.

The funny thing is, I was thinking to myself ... "Should I approach her? She looks under 18."

Whoops.

The records are now 13 and 34 ;)

Note: I've allowed anonymous comments

Day 2 is Solid!

2006-05-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone with the girl from the grass (aka. From the first time I used the Questions Game.)

Solid time and date is set :) Woo baby!

Cheers! :D

FR: DRIVE BY PICKUP!

2006-05-14T15:11:00.000-07:00

I drove by her on my way to Stanford Shopping Center. Sunglasses, with her blond hair tied back in a ponytail, baby cute face and creamy smooth skin. A nine in my book.

I swerved to the right lane to get a better look. She's HOT. I quickly turn the corner, take a deep breath and put on my emergency lights. I get out of the car as she stands by the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn green.

"Excuse me!" She looks my way. I smile.

"I just drove by ... and I saw you. I just had to come and talk to you."

She smiles. We introduce ourselves.

"Wait here, let me park the car."

I quickly find a parking spot. Two minutes later, she's standing in the same spot, waiting.

The instadate begins :)

She's a Swiss girl, just got to the US for 2 months; currently taking care of her brother and studying in English school. She paints modern art; and doesn't like just sitting at home.

We talked about family, her moving from Switzerland, me moving from Hong Kong, childhood friends, different activities.

I tried to run the questions game. She didn't really catch on. (Language barrier?)

I ran the cube. She loved it.

We went shopping for a wristband for me (didn't find one,) then grabbed a cup of water (both of us) and sat down. We chatted for another few minutes, and then she asked me for my number.

I messed up a bit here and the close wasn't very solid. We exchanged numbers. She's free on Wednesday, and I tried to set up a day2. She doesn't drive. Oops. I don't know anything in Menlo Park or Palo Alto. I said I'll call her.

I should have:

1) Set a time I'd call her
2) Set an exact time we're going on a day2

Anyway, I feel like she'll show :)

We hugged goodbye. Well, I hugged her goodbye. She gave me a KISS ON THE CHEEK.

It was a good day.

I did one set today, and one set only. I'm not sure why I left; I just felt like "Okay, I'm done today!" With the confidence spike I'm sure I would have done pretty well. Oh well :) I'm happy! :D

Cheers! :)

- Dare

darepua.blogspot.com

FR: Fort Mason Party

2006-05-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Woo! What a party! I wish I coulda stayed longer. Anyway!

We arrived at around 1pm, the party didn't even get started till an hour and a half later. I basically opened just about EVERY set that was there; and the cute ones multiple times. I probably opened 20 "unique" sets, 30 sets including reopening sets. I had a blast.

I was really practicing a "technique" I learned in Lance's Body Language workshop - I basically paid five times as much attention to my body language as what I said. I opened as an extremely friendly, playful guy. My opener was "Hey you guys having fun?"

Parties are so easy :)

Interesting Observations:

The Questions Game RULES!

If a friend joins the conversation, you can't try to include her in the game. I tried to about 3 times and it never worked. In the future, I'd just vibe and try to get reisolated.

If you're playing the questions game with a really playful, flirty vibe, sometimes they just don't drop down with you and try to stay at that energy level. I think my main mistake was I was doing it mostly with words - "So, what do you do that's creative?" In the future, I should really relax, look at her intently, go from smiling to a relaxed jaw, and drop my own energy to show her - "Hey, something new's going on! We're getting to know each other now."

Body Language IS at least five times as important as the words.

People are friendly and want to meet people!

--------

A couple sets stick out in my mind the most:

A four set towards the end of the day. I was chatting them up, when my wing and another chump came in the set. If I had a PickUp 101 flyer or something; I would have handed it to the poor sap. He was SO socially inept, it's hardly funny.

I got my wing isolated; and tried to isolate my target. I turned my body from the rest of the group and said - "Hey I got a question for you." She smiles and goes "Oh is this private?" BAM! We're perfectly isolated; the other 2 girls are in their own conversation. Then the guy comes and goes "Oh, can I listen to what you guys are talking about?" Jesus christ.

I pushed him to talk to the other girls, tried to re-isolate, etc (everything I could think of at the time) - at least THREE times and the guy just COULD NOT take a hint and give us space.

I checked to make sure my wing's still isolated and left.

HBKyuutie - 4 set / 6 set / 1 set?

Wow, this girl was totally, 100% my type. She'd be a 8.5-9 in my book.

The first time I talked to her was a four set. I came in with a big grin, wide open body language, and "Hey guys, you having fun?!" Group opened great, I ran the set for about 5-10 mins and said "Alright guys, have fun! I'll cya'll around" and went back to working the room.

The second time around, I caught her eye contact and immediately reopened. It was a loose six set, I quickly introduced myself and got her isolated within 1-2 minutes. Went into the questions game, we had a fun, semi-deep vibe.

When she asked what I do, I kinda avoided the question, but not very well. Eventually I actually told her what I do, and she said "Like the movie hitch?!" (They always say that!) She was thrilled by the idea. She asked me if I were running game; which I said not really.

At one point she asked my age. I didn't want to answer, and said "I'll give you three guesses, and the rest you'll have to work for." (Note: I'm not sure how I feel about this kind of C&F/Prizing, I just felt like it was necessary here.) She didn't guess right, but by the end she was already like "Are you even legal to be drinking?" I feel like it would have been better if I just answered honestly; since it was a slight block.

At one point, we had a great half hug going - I had my arm around her shoulders, and she wraped her arm around mine. She kinoed me back a few times during the interaction as well.

Then her friend came, they were talking; I went back to attraction material. I didn't do so well, then her friend pulled her away and she had to go to the bathroom. I think if I had time, if I reopened her 30 mins later I would have done pretty well.

In retrospect:

1) Be sensitive about when someone's comming in and react immediately.
2) I should have been upfront about the age thing, especially when she started asking questions. I feel like if I did, she would have been less likely to "go to the bathroom" at the end.
3) Evade better when I'm asked what I do; though it worked out okay this time.

Wow, this post ended up longer than I thought ;)

The questions game is definitely going in my toolbox, possibly permanently. It's just a structure for going deeper; which I feel like I still need to work on a bit, but it's soo much easier with a structure than trying to do it without.

Anyway, I had fun! The original goal was to go run daygame in Union Square or something, and I feel like I'd have gotten more "results" if I did, but I had much more fun here and learned a lot.

Cheers! :)

Mini-FR and A Dream

2006-05-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

Last night, after a casual dinner with a few of the guys, a few of us decided to go out.

Compared to my daygame experience, I think my nightgame is fairly weak. I opened maybe 10 sets; most were sorta kinda.

The one particular set worth commenting on was in our second bar. I was basically done for the night, waiting for a friend to day2 close his girl. Another friend of mine offers to buy me a drink; as I havn't seen him in a while. I said no, no really - I'm on a diet. (True.) "No, really!" He says. "You know what? I'll ask her to buy you a drink."

He asks her to buy me a drink. She says "Sure! I'll buy you a drink, what do you want?" It took me about 2 minutes to actually convince her I didn't want a drink; I think it was actually a pretty powerful thing to do; though if I weren't on a diet I think I'd just accept it.

I went into the questions game (again!) (I love this thing,) and had a decent conversation for about 10-15 mins. I felt like we weren't really connecting though; and I didn't go for a close and just left saying have a nice night.

Afterwards, my wing said "What?! She was totally into you; she offered to buy YOU a drink. etc etc etc." In retrospect, leaving was really the wrong thing to do; I had a decent (hand test was kinda sensual, but it wasn't very,) attraction, but something just felt off. What I'd do next time is 1) Get her to commit more to the interaction by inviting her to talk outside, or 2) Call it out - "You know, when I talk to someone I like to really get to know them ... and I'm feeling like there's just something preventing us from clicking here."

Anyway, it was a good lesson learned.

Dream: I woke up this morning with an interesting dream. I worked at borders or barnes & nobles; three girls came in and I started chatting them up. I hand tested one of the girl and got the PERFECT reaction; interlocking fingers, intense fingerplay. Nothing happened in the dream, and I've never gotten such a strong reaction, but it was an interesting feeling ;)

Random AA Observations

2006-05-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

I noticed after the rockin' day in Union Square, my approach anxiety was just about ZERO. It lasted for several days; I could just approach any girl I saw. I think I kind of just remembered that really powerful state and a part of me just got into it.

A couple weeks later, the state seems to have died down. I can still approach, it's still good, but I seem to - pause first now. It's almost the same as when I wrote my theory on approach anxiety, just to a lesser degree.

Hmm.

Anyway, I'm gonna bring back ABC - Anxiety Buster Charity. (How corny is that? ;))

PS: Today's my first day on the Alkaline diet. I feel ... light headed.

Review: Woo ;)

2006-05-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

So; I was writing up a review of my day2 close when she called me back :)

We had a fun 10 minute conversation. We talked about how yoga makes us feel, people taking charge of situations, friends. Her dad called, I felt like I already kept myself on her mind and kept the attraction going; so I just let it go and said I'll talk to her in a couple days.

Anyway, I want to do the review of the close anyway; just to get it off my chest.

Basically what I said was "Anyway, I gotta catch up with my friends soon." She said "mm, okay" "We should grab a cup of coffee sometime!" "Yeah, we should!"

I said "When are you in the city?" we dodged around the time a bit, before we came to thursday two weeks later. We hugged, and I left.

I'm just gonna tear myself apart here:

1) I didn't confirm that she was attracted or interested. I sorta got the vibe, but I'm not sure how strong the attraction is. In retrospect; I don't feel like the attraction was obvious enough that I could assume it, I didn't do the hand test; so I should have called it out verbally.

"You know, I came to talk to you because I thought you were really cute ... and I feel like we have a great vibe going here; but I'm just not sure if you feel the same way."

2) I didn't set a place. Oh my god, that's huge.

3) I didn't make her picture the date in her mind; at all.

4) I didn't call her on the spot. I feel like the first 3 are more important and this is more of an addon, but it's just tighter game to do so anyway.

The biggest issue was that my body, just that feeling I get in my gut, just didn't feel like it was solid. I should have definitely called it out and made it more so.

Anyway, I feel like my day 2 close-skills is what I should really work on right now; and I feel like I'm getting better. After this phone call; I feel like I have at least a 35% chance she'll show.

I also feel I'm being a bit too pessimistic about girls in general. Well, after a couple more dates I'll see ;)

Cheers!

:)

Six Months In The Community

2006-05-08T13:14:00.000-07:00

Still can't approach girls in cars?

2006-05-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

Just lost a set due to AA. Fuck!

sdlfjasdluf3wp9upweup432pu43o3uroi

I still get AA for girls in cars. It's not even a moving car, she's just sitting in a car, almost ready to drive away. I get in logical mode, well where do I stand? how do I talk? how do I talk to her when she's sitting inside and I'm outside?

Just approach, motherfucker. sd;fjsdlj

FR: Rapport Breakthrough (The Questions Game)

2006-05-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

A problem I've been having recently is just that my rapport is ... weak. No better word for it really; it's just weak.

I've been trying to approach rapport through "normal," talk, and dropping it down. I'm sure it works, and I've seen Lance do his drops impressively well, but after 20 sets or so of rapport stalling out and "haha ... well ... it was nice to meet you bye!" I decided to try a different approach.

Out of all the structures Pick Up 101 provides, I felt most comfortable using the questions game. I only really got to use it twice today; the first time it didn't really do very well. The second time, though, it went better than many of my sets have done in the past.

I started out with "Have you ever dropped something on the floor and ate it anyway?" "Yeah! Three second rule!" I bust on her. She says "Why?" "..Nono, you can't ask why. It's your turn to ask me a question; you can't ask the same question."

From there, we talked about lots of things. Travel, childhood, childhood friends, family, San Francisco, my "story," etc. At one point I warm read her ...

"I get the feeling that ... you're the kind of person who grew up really close with her family, but you also really want to get out and do your own thing, but you'll still always have the connection with your family, even when you move away."

Her eyes got like O_O; I was dead on. "Oh my god! How did you know that?"

Whenever the conversation almost stalled we just went back to the questions game. "So, who's turn is it?" If it wasn't for the questions game, and I were running the set like normal, I'm almost certain I would have just stalled out and ejected.

So, I consider that somewhat of a breakthrough. It's only one success, so I'll have to report back when I have a few more sets under my belt ;)

Oh, and I day2/number closed the girl. The meeting is in two weeks, and I forgot to call her on the spot. I'll probably call her tomorrow night. I feel like it was pretty solid, but in two weeks, I'm not too sure. (I'm estimating 30% chance.) Well, we'll see how it goes.

Cheers! =)

Photos from Yesterday!

2006-04-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

The promised photos ;)

My in a two set. My wings had to keep a beggar busy so I could do my thing :P

Me in my nine set ;) with two hotties in my arms :) mmmmmmmmmmm

Cheers! :)

FR: Orgasmic Rockin' Day

2006-04-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

I just got back from five hours in union square. Today fucking ROCKED!

Authentic got the guys together and decided to run a competition. We tracked our sets, results from smiles to instadates and day 2 closes. The competition ended at 3:30, but I was on fire all day ;)

By the end of the day I had nineteen approaches, two numbers, two NINE-SETS (including one with a group photo!) and another approach-in-front-of-boyfriend.

There seemed to be a lot of journalists today. Some sort of group travel thing, at least four of the sets were journalists of some kind. Can't wait for them to start trading stories ;)

Highlights:

All girls, All Korean Nine-Set Sitting In A Row:

Jaz and I decided on a spur of the moment to approach the asian group of nine girls. They were literally sitting along a line in a wierd ackward way. But anyway! We just sat down, "Hey guys, sorry we're late!"

We joke around a bit and the rest of the group fades out, leaving my target and I. Talk for a bit and grab her number. She's here from Korea so I assumed she couldn't stay long, but she's staying for THREE MONTHS. In retrospect, I should have really tried for a day 2. Oh well :)

Nine-Set, Mixed, Group Photo!:

"Do you guys know what time it is? Haha, just kidding, I just came to flirt with you guys."

The group's energy skyrockets as soon as I open, the banter is awesome. The group was more like a five or six set when they openned, but more and more people just kept flowing in. "Oh my god! I left you guys alone for 10 seconds; what's going on?! Waa!"

I couldn't isolate, I got a bit of private conversation but we kept getting drawn back in by the group.

Spur of the moment, I yelled "GROUP PHOTO! Lets do a group photo!" "Yeah!"

And so, we got a group photo ;) I'll post it up soon. The blonde in my left arm was my target :)

#close on steps:

Same opener; her friends chatted with us for a bit before fading away. We talked, semi-deep semi-wide rapport for a good 30-45 minutes. Grabbed her number before I left.

If she wasn't a tourist, I feel like the rapport was good enough to get a day 2.

I can't go over all the other ones, some were great, some were not. It was really an awesome day. Photo's comming soon, look forward to it ;)

FR: Set Four

2006-04-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

Going a bit slow ;) but getting there!

Drove down to Barnes & Nobles 45 mins before they closed to see if I could sneak a set in.

She was sitting on a bench by the magazine rack. I had a bit of Approach Anxiety, but thanks to my charity-technique and a bit of self talk, I approached soon enough.

"Hi ... I saw you over there ... and I had to come talk to you. You are really cute."

She smiled (no christmas lights, but it was a nice smile.) "May I join you?"

I took a second to move the books aside. I should have probably done it slower in retrospect. I sat down, "So what are you reading?"

From here's my rapport game. Still needs lotsa work, but it's gonna get there!

A magazine on tattoos, she says, showing me the book. "You know ... I've noticed that people with tattoos are usually either really artistic ... or they're really rebellious. Which one do you think you are?" A little bit of both, she says. Couldn't really catch an emotional thread.

I don't really remember the order of things we talked about. Here's some stuff in random order.

Dare: "So where are you from?"
HBVictoriaSecrets: "I'm from San Mateo. I really want to move though. Where are you from?"
Dare: "I was born in Pacifica ... but when I was four, I moved to hong kong. *she smiles* Yeah, hong kong was fun. I met my first girlfriend there. We didn't really know what we were doing ... we were just copying all the older guys. We'd have our friends pretend to attack her, and I'd come and be this hero that saves her day. Then I proposed to her in chinese so she wouldn't understand. It was really sweet. But then I moved ... I havn't talked to her in a while."

We talked about her wanting to move. When I asked her where she wants to go, she said she doesn't really know, she just wants to get out of here (been here her whole life.) I reciprocated with an answer about me wanting to move to japan, and how you really have to live somewhere to soak up the culture. I feel like I didn't really hit an emotional thread here. In retrospect, I should have said something about the vibe I got from her that she's not very close with her family. ("You know ... I'm sort of getting this vibe from you that you're not very close with your family right now." *reaction* "Yeah, because I'm not very close with my family either ... but I think if it weren't for my family, I wouldn't be the person I am today, so I guess in a way I'm actually really grateful.")

We talked a bit more; I felt the energy sort of die so I tried for the close. She said "mmm ... do you have a myspace?" Uhoh.

I should have gone back for more rapport, maybe with a warm read or something. She wanted to trade myspace or AIM, but I said "I either call girls or I don't." Then I Have-A-Nice-Day (HAND) closed.

Lessons Learned:

1) I spent too much time on similar topics. Where are you from, where do you want to go, why you want to move ... it wasn't really dropping different topics, and I'd already really hit the bottom of where I can go with those. I should have talked about music, sports, events, etc. More wide rapport, which would have helped with the deep rapport.

2) Call out your instincts early. I had a feeling on the family thing, but I didn't really verbalise it even to myself. I feel like if I had called it out, it would have been a powerful read.

3) Start out more powerfully than "So what are you reading?"

4) I have to start really nailing emotional threads. I get the feeling that I'm sort of floating around them right now.

Anyway - Four sets, eight more to go!

FR: Set Three

2006-04-19T15:41:00.000-07:00

Drill Seargent Organic has set the entire EBSS list on a challenge to do 12 sets a week. I've decided to take up the challenge, but I'm adding the catch for myself that I want to do as many outside "sarging time" sets as I can.

Third set, outdoor parking lot:

Three set:

"Hey Guys, you know what time it is?"

HBlueTop: "It's ..."

"Just kidding, I just came to flirt with you guys *kino*"

HBGiggly: Omigawd, okay

"Haha, you guys couldn't tell? You need to work on your flirting senses ... *kino* She's bad in bed. *kino* I can tell already."

*Introduces Self*

Energy appears to drop. "Hey guys, would you guys date a guy who's good friends with his ex girlfriend?

Not very good responses. Didn't go into story.

Energy dropped, eject.

Lessons Learned:

1) I kino'ed and bantered the same girl too much. I feel like that was the beginning of the set falling apart; it was aparent that I was interested in that girl.

2) I introduced myself too early. Introductions should be used to lower value, and I didn't feel like my value was high enough in the first place. I wasn't overgaming, in other words.

3) The Ex-Girlfriend routine just seems out of place in daytime. I'll try it a few more times before I decide to ditch it.

FR: 20 Second Number Close - Thanks Charity ;)

2006-04-19T15:39:00.001-07:00

"Hi ... *smile* I saw you pull up ... and I had to come and talk to
you. You are unbelievably cute."

Says me, after watching her pull up. I whip out my cellphone and
pretend to text while waiting for her to get out of the car. The image
of the "Donate" button flashes through my head.

The approach was in the middle of a parking lot. (Hi Positive!) She
smiled, and said thanks! We introduced ourselves. We're standing right
in the car lane, so I said "Lets talk over here." "I have to get to
work," she says. "Well, give me your number. I'll call you sometime."
"Okay!"

The whole thing took maybe 20 seconds :)

Thanks to charity? I don't know ;) I may or may not have done it
without it, but that sure was fun =) And I know this girl's in my
area, so I'll probably give her a call later.

Cheers!

- Derek

Theory on Approach Anxiety

2006-04-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

Standing in Barnes & Nobles, I notice a girl, maybe a year or two
older than me, standing with a couple guys. Just like any approach
(especially since I'm not warmed up,) I get that feeling in my belly
affectionately called "Approach Anxiety." Fortunately, it's much
weaker than it would have been a couple months ago. I watched the
group for a bit, trying to determine if the guys were her boyfriend,
while telling myself that I HAD to approach. It wasn't until I
reminded myself "I have plans in half an hour, I'll be late if I don't
do this NOW!" that I did the approach.

Looking back, I've found a lot of similar experiences. As I got more
experience doing approaches, Approach Anxiety would gradually
decrease, but there were times where "that feeling" was very weak, yet
I still DIDN'T APPROACH.

Why?

I think I cracked the code today.

That feeling we call "Approach Anxiety," that slight tingly feeling
you get in your belly, the increased heart rate, is only PART ONE.
This is the part where your body is telling you "Why you shouldn't
approach." This is the part where most people focus on, but I'm
starting to believe that's not all there is to it.

There is a second part that is ESSENTIAL to committing an approach.
This is the part where you WANT to do the approach, or the PUSH or
desire to do the approach. This is where you will convince yourself
that "She's not hot enough" or "She's a bitch," and not approach.
You're unconsciously killing your push or drive to approach. On the
other hand, outside factors like students watching, a self-image that
you have no approach anxiety, and so on will AMP UP this desire.

I've been in situations when I was approaching alone, Approach Anxiety
was slight, and yet I didn't approach. On the other hand, I've been in
situations where I had massive approach anxiety, but with five guys
watching me, I couldn't NOT approach. In the first situation, I didn't
not approach because of the feeling we call "Approach Anxiety," but
just because I didn't have enough "reason to approach." In the second,
the reason to approach was more powerful than the feeling we call
"Approach Anxiety," so I DID approach.

This might seem like an insignificant point, but I think it's an
incredibly important distinction when you're approaching alone.
There's nobody watching you but yourself, and even if you've managed
to tone down the Approach Anxiety, you can STILL easily not approach.

Gunwitch talks about amping your sexual drive without release to get
over Approach Anxiety and to approach. I think he had the right idea,
that he's focusing on amping the desire to approach, which isn't an
idea that's usually talked about. I think that approach would actually
increase Approach Anxiety for newbies, but hitching along the same
train of thought, we can't just focus on lowering "Approach Anxiety,"
we also have to raise the drive to approach.

So what are some ways to do this?

1) Set up a donation page, with your credit card information and all
relevant info entered. Go out with the knowledge that if you don't do
X approaches, or if you don't approach THAT GIRL, that you WILL click
donate and lose that 20 or 50 dollars.
2) Brag to your wings about how good you are. You will have to followup.
3) Tell a nearby stranger that you'll approach that person. Credit
Pullse, who grabbed a security guard and had him point out girls for
him to approach.

Comments, additions, suggestions, as well as more ways to amp the
"push" factor are all welcomed! :)

FR: First Model, Mother Daughter Close!

2006-04-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

Just got back from Macoroni Grill in Milpitas. Cute 8.5-ish HBskiier
(Model, and Top 10 Skiier in california!)

I went in Direct, with a smile on my face - "Hi ... I was sitting with
my friends ... and I just had to come and meet you." She smiled, her
mom smiled, I sat down. I went straight into rapport, her mom stayed
in the convo for a little bit more and then just faded out.

Food came, so I had to close a bit prematurely, but I doubt I could
have gotten a day2 close anyway, since she lives 2 hours north of
Sacramento (about 4 hours away.) After I #closed ... I realised ...
whoa! That was a mother-daughter set!

What used to be a limiting belief is now gone. I won't say I've
"blasted through my sticking point" just yet, but it sure was FUN! ;)

"AMOG" from Highschool

2006-04-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

Not a field report, just an AWESOME ego trip ;)

Just got back from the bank ;) I had to drive an extra 10 minutes
because all the others were closed.

A guy I knew from HIGHSCHOOL was sitting in the chair next to me. A
guy who used to "bully" me ... not because he was mean - just because
I was a total dork, and everyone else was doing it. I glanced over at
him, and in one look I see that my "value" - my COOLNESS - has
skyrocketed WAY higher than his! His jeans suck, his shoes suck, his
body language sucks. It's like ... whoa! This guy used to be cooler
than me??

"Phillip? Hey man!" I grab his hand and pat his shoulder. The look on
his face is AWESOME. (I'm sadistic like that ;) )

I'm chatting with the (kinda cute but a tad chubby) bank teller while
she's doing her thing. She asks me what do I do - I tell her I work
for a company that teaches men dating skills. Her eyes go like this
O_O! "Have you seen the movie hitch?" (Why do they always ask that? :
P) We chat for a bit. I grab Phillip, who gives a testimonial that I
was a total dork. I love it. A nice confidence booster :)

I think I'll make this my new bank :P

Cheers!

- Dare

FR: Valley Fair 3/12/06

2006-03-12T23:02:00.000-08:00

I took a newbie out yesterday. His name's Sly. I think he has potential ;)

I had a couple sets worth mentioning.

(Apple Store) HBGiggly

Dare: Kino Open + "Hey, do you know what time it is?"

HbGiggly: "Oh it's-"

Dare: "I'm just messing with you (kino) I just thought you're cute and wanted to come talk to you"

She started giggling and turned her body away. In retrospect, I should have recognised lockup (value too high, I'm "out of her league" and she becomes uncomfortable,) and called it out. Instead, I kept bantering.

In the end, I couldn't get rapport, she got a call and I ejected.

(Abercrombie) HBWorkerBee

I grabbed a (way undersized) female bathing suit/boxer-thing.

"Hey, do you think this would look good on me?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?!"
"Lets try it on!"

The opener was really high-energy. Lots of flirty Kino - Though, turns out she thought I was serious ;) I busted on her.

"You thought I was serious?! Oh my god, you NEED to work on your cute-guy flirty senses"

Attraction done.

"So, what do you do that's creative?"

"Hmm ... I write ... I do poetry ... God, I can't believe I'm telling a complete stranger this ..."

I'm sure Lance would have just grabbed that and dropped it hard. Something like "Wow ... you know, I've found most people who write have the most incredible life experiences, but never really knew how to express it .. and when you read their writing, you just get the sense that "Wow, this is really how this person is feeling ..." and I think it's incredible that people have found a way to really let their emotions come out."

I couldn't come up with anything fast enough (fsksksk) so I said something lame like "Cool, I really repsect that." (I don't remember what I said.)

Her co-worker (manager) came over soon and grabbed her and started talking about inventory. My biggest messup is just standing there, while they talked, for maybe a whole minute. (In retrospect, I still don't really know how I should have approached it. Suggestions?) She had to go, I tried for a close, which didn't close.

Her other co-worker was watching the whole time ;) It was fun watching her expression.

Lesson #1: Recognise lockup
Lesson #2: Girls wearing shoes that look like slippers are wearing SHOES, NOT slippers. (I complimented a girl on her "slippers." "My shoes, thanks." She says.)

Cheers :)

- Dare

No Momento

2006-03-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

(4:21 PM)

I just got back from barnes & nobles and an attempted Movie Moment. My nerves are still tingly.

I spent about 15 mintues convincing myself that I had to approach her, I HAD to approach her, I HAD to approach her - I was pretty in state by the time I got myself to commit to approaching. I spent another minute or so just breathing and feeling the tension, and I began walking up to her slowly.

When I was about halfway there, she glanced up, and saw me approaching ... and then returned to her book. I kept walking, slowly, until I was right in front of her and just stood there. And stood there. Aaand stood there.

It couldn't have been more than fifteen seconds, but it felt like forever. She wasn't looking up, and I felt my social value going down, just standing there looking at her with her not looking up. I felt like a total dork. So I just walked away.

ARRRR, I'm SO kicking myself for not sticking there. Or just SAYING HI.

She was cute, too.

But anyway, I'm getting better about doing approaches while I'm not "in state." I used to just ignore sets I'd see in my everyday life, but now I'm approaching girls more and more.

I can't wait till I get a Movie Moment set done - properly.

FR: Busted!

2006-03-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

Quick FR:

AoA Seminar, we're in The Matrix, Positive and I are just opening random sets. He opens a two-set, we banter for about 10 seconds, and one of the girls tilts her head and asks:

Are you guys pickup101 ... ?

Whoa!

Turns out she's a friend of Sensei and his girlfriend ... good stuff :)

FR: First Bar Night! WOOO HOO!

2006-02-24T01:42:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

I finally got my age problem solved, first bar night tonight! I met up
with Hurricane, Marina Hunter, Alchemist, Barce, Brad, and Shanghai in
the Mission. It was pretty different, but not as different as I
expected. Looks like a really great place for practice :)

Anyway, there was only a couple sets worth mentioning:

Four set, two guys, two girls. The guys were obviously strangers
gaming them. I open touching the guy, "Hey man, these girls are
trouble. Like those strippers back there?! You're supposed to PROTECT
me, where were you when I needed you?" She looked at me for a second
before smiling, and she shot back "What happened?" - I kinda faltered.
Eventually I fired her as my bodyguard. I high-five test, no
attraction, so I eject.

The girl keeps looking back, so I re-engage a bit later. This is when
the guy starts AMOGing me. He says something like "This guy's gay man,
he's just hiding it." And stuff along those lines. In retrospect, I
should have just ignored him. I hand tested again, grabbed her hand
when she was waving it, she squeezed a bit, but I didn't really get
the feeling that she was attracted, so I ejected.

2-set, I high-five test, and she locks fingers with me - like if you
were praying. I didn't get the "sensual fingers" feeling though - I'm
not sure what to make of it.

Anyway, it was a fun night! I think bar game would really help me get
better quickly. Yaho!

Fashion

2006-02-12T12:38:00.000-08:00

Wow, computer problems and blogger.com problems. Blogs are addicting, y'know?

A couple of days I got a pair of dry Nudie jeans. Parting with $165 for a pair of jeans was something I would have never considered a few months ago, but now I actually feel good about my decision.

Ever since I bought Lance (Sensei)'s "Dress for success" fashion DVDs, I've totally caught the fashion bug. It's just so much fun! Even if not for pickup and the attention from girls, I would still continue to learn about fashion. And there's so much to learn.

Working with Lance, who has an incredible sense of fashion (sharper than many hot girls,) is great. He gives spot on fashion evalutations and gives a few things to work on every time I see him.

Alright, so nothing really related to pickup. A lair meeting's up today, Will from the NYC lair's comming down to give a talk on his Booty Call contract, which he gets girls to sign. I'll be interning at Art of Attraction this friday! Art of Attraction is Pick Up 101's flagship program, it's dynamite. (I'm a huge PU101 fan.)

'Till next time ... tata

FR: Stanford 2/8

2006-02-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

God I love this place! High-fashion girls in a slow paced environment, mmm.

My wing flaked on me, so I headed out alone a bit before meeting up with Anthony.

HBSmiley - Starbucks

I was getting warmed up when I saw her, sitting by herself outside Starbucks. I opened Direct ... "I saw you when I was walking in ... You're really cute, I just had to come and talk to you."

She opened well, but her friend had the only other chair nearby. In retrospect I should have just sat down with something like "I can only stay a minute anyway." Met with "I have a boyfriend."

As I was leaving, her friend came back, and I overheard HBSmiley talking about me :) "He said I was cute!" I made her day; and made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

HBSpaced - Sephora

This was a bit weird.

Sephora's just BEGGING for the cologne opener. (For the record, Armani Black Code is winning 7-0.)

I open the two set. BL opens up, smile, etc; everything was great except they started drifting apart. By the end of the set the other girl was like one and a half meters away. (Eight feet?)

Banter (Are you guys sisters? Oh my god, you guys could totally get matching clothes and confuse everyone.) Revolving Door attraction story.

My target was holding a white bag in her hand closest to mine. At one point she shifted it to her other hand. I should have done the test at this point, but I missed the chance and she switched it back. I'm still kicking myself over this, ARG.

Anyway, couldn't isolate and went for a solid "Have a nice day" close

HBFashion - Macys

I love fashion openers, 'cuz you get fashion advice!

I open my target; she GOES and gets her friend (who's better with fashion, apparently.) I should have probably broken her frame here if I wanted to keep gaming her. The advice I got was well worth the set though :)

HBMomma - Abercrombie

Really cute girl with her mom. I open the mom with "Is this your daughter? ...May I speak with her?"

In retrospect, I should have probably just opened the daughter.

Some people say in parent sets to open the parents first, others say just go for the daughter. I'm starting to think it's a calibration issue. Then again, maybe I shouldn't use Direct.

Anyway, by the time I was talking to the daughter she was in "Uhh Okay" mode.

Progress report:

Went out and learned stuff
Made a girl's day :)
Fashion advice

Still having trouble with attraction test
Still no Movie Moment set

Getting there :)

We're good to go!

2006-02-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

Finally, up to date!

Marina Hunter and Positive were right - Just looking back on your old FRs is a pretty interesting experience :) I've come a long way since my first FR in the Castro, it's almost funny to read.

Anyway, hopefully unlike my other blogs which died a tragic fate, this one will flourish into a beatiful ... oh nevermind.

Current Sticking Points:

Attraction hand test
Getting out wingless (I just have a hard time getting off my ass.)

Weekly Goals:

Do a Movie Moment set
Do two sets where I attraction test
Head out twice

FR: Stanford Shopping Center, Sunday 2/5

2006-02-07T18:52:00.000-08:00

Originally Posted: Mon Feb 6, 2006 1:31 am

FR: Stanford Shopping Center, Sunday 2/5

Headed out with Positive and Marina Hunter. New observations &
sticking points.

HBFilmed - Direct.

"Hey, I was just with my friends over there, and I just had to come
and tell you, you're really cute."

"That guy over there? ...He's ... filming us?"

Oops. I completely forgot Positive was filming, so the opening was a
bit awkward. After I sat down, she relaxed a bit, but I didn't get
deep enough rapport. She left to continue shopping.

HBArmani - 3 Set, Indirect

Cologne opener in Sephora, the cute one opened up really well. Armani
Black Code vs Marc Jacobs, Armani wins 3-0 (wins 5-0 by the end of the
day.)

I ejected >way< too soon, they opened well and I could have easily
transition into another attraction story and isolate, but the set
helped me come up with an idea and a sticking point (later.)

HBChinese2me

She's actually from Greece, but she told me in Greece, instead of
saying "That's Greek to me," they have the saying "That's Chinese to
me" :)

I meant to do Movie Moment, but I totally missed the vibe, probably
because I had more of a practice mindset and wasn't really attracted
to her. She opened up very well though; I got medium-deep rapport. I
feel like if I went for the Day 2 close, I could have gotten it, but
I'm still not sure if I want to see her again. #closed.

A couple thoughts I want to run by you guys:

1) The amount of attraction generated by a Direct approach is directly
proportionate to the amount of intensity in your approach. Even if
you're not going for the Movie Moment approach, just saying "you're
cute" has a much better effect if you're intense. (Credit Devon &
Positive)

2) Don't use "The Hand Thing" in day game; where you stick your hand
in a set to open them up powerfully. I've been doing that until today,
and in retrospect, I have NEVER gotten blown out in daylight from not
opening the set up enough and being shut out. I have, on the other
hand, gotten blown out overgaming by sticking my hand out ... it's
just unnatural and intrusive, even if you do it over your shoulder.
Just your voice "Hey guys" in day game, the whole set turns towards
you. What do you guys think?

Sticking Point:

I think I have "Attraction Test Anxiety." I know when I need to
attraction test, but I miss it more often than I do it. (I've only
done it once.) To be worked on.

FR: Valley Fair Day Game

2006-02-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

OriginallY Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:02 pm

FR: Valley Fair Day Game

I spent my weekend interning with PU101's Art of Rapport. As an
intern, we didn't do any excercises or field work, and by sunday night
I was BURNING with desire to go out and use my new skills.

Chris and I head out to valley fair, Anthony joined us later. My game
had never been so smooth, after warming up I was rolling from set to
set. I ended up with two #closes by the end of the day. (Only calling
one.)

Highlights:

Abercrombie Kids Store Girl: "Hey, you're working here because you're
a pedophile right?" I banter a bit. I try to go into the questions
game, but it didn't go too well, and I tried just dropping down in
rapport, didn't go too well either. She was smiling, laughing and
ignoring customers, but I couldn't get rapport. One of my first sets,
still getting used to using things I learned last weekend.

Hollister Girl: The set went pretty similarly to the Abercrombie girl,
great attraction, rapport was soso. Went for the close, I got "I don't
have a cell phone right now, disconnected." I busted on her for not
having a cell phone in the 21st century, she didn't want to give her
home phone.

Urban Outfitters: "Hey, what time is it? Oh *kino* I don't really
care, I thought you were cute and wanted to come talk to you. I'd
Derek." She smiled and opened up completely. I went into rapport, got
into the questions game but I couldn't really get too deep with it. I
got decent medium rapport, but I still had trouble moving deeper.
#closed at the end.

Social Circle: A friend called and invited me to a pool game. I asked
if there were cute chicks, and said yes :) My original target didn't
show up, but I ended up #closing one of the other girls. Kino'd
massive, lots of joking ("I'm taking care of your blue balls now!") I
don't know if it's gonna go anywhere, but it might have some
potential. My first time running the cube in set, her reaction was
great, she was bouncing and excited "Oh my GOD! I can't believe it,
that is SO accurate!" I got a picture of her shaking her ass (didn't
get the face though ;/) I'll upload it when I get home.

Summary: AoR was GREAT, my game is so much smoother, so much more
natural, and just better in many ways. I havn't had that much
attraction, been that in state, or attracted girls that hot before. I
used to get one #close a
week at best, and I just got two in a day. I'm fired up!

New sticking points:

Doing well with moving sets. Had one okay-set, but I still have
trouble stopping sets.
Doing the attraction test (I ALWAYS forget this one.)
Deepening rapport in general

PS: The dance girl flaked ;/

FR: Dance Class!

2006-02-07T18:49:00.001-08:00

Originally Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:04 pm

FR: Dance Class!

I am SO excited right now, FUCK YEAH!

New school semester. Dance class, infamous picking grounds for hot
chicks and preppy guys alike. (I really just go for the dance, but no
reason not to practice my art!)

I get there a bit early, nobody's inside, so I wait outside the door
and open girls as they walk in. "Here for nude yoga?" Is my opener
(Credit SomeRandomGuy on #pua.)

In walks HBYummie.

"Are you here for hip hop?"

"Yep!"

"I'm sorry, it was cancelled, we're having nude yoga instead."

She looks scared for a sec, and replies "Well that could be fun!"

I playfully punch her, "Oh my god you believed me?"

We joke around a bit before she walks in. She's cute and totally my
type. I have to re-open. (She walked in because I stalled a bit.) I
walk in and re-open with "Hey, I have a dilemma, what do you think
about guys wearing girls jeans?" We chat, after a while she starts
asking questions about me. It's on!

Class starts, I'm interrupted. We sit in the floor, listening to the
instructor. After class, we talk a bit about French rap. She wants to
go watch the basketball game next door, I don't know if that was an
invitation but I didn't want to tag along like a puppy dog, so I
stopped walking (stopping her by stopping yourself, credit Positive,)
and said "When you replied to my yoga comment, I thought that was
really witty and adventurous, and I found that really attractive" It
turns out she misheard me and thought I said yoga. Oh well.

I said we should hang out sometime. We worked out 12:30 on Monday. I
asked if she knew where Laurelwood is, just down the street. She
didn't. She said "I could give you my number, just call and let me
know." I love that. (In retrospect, I should have set up a solid place
as well.) I got her number and called her on the spot.

"Hey! You would not BELIEVE what happened to me today. I met the
cutest girl in dance class, oh my god, look she's smiling." - Credit
Lance. We say our it was nice to meet you's, and hug goodbye :)
(Credit Lance again!)

One thing that I found a bit funny was, when I called her, she said
"Are you afraid it's a fake?" I wonder what that means. Does she give
fake numbers? Did I seem player-ish enough that I'm used to fake
numbers? Hmm.

This is by far the most solid close I've got so far. I have a couple #
closes, but they felt forced and I didn't really have attraction or
rapport, and I wasn't that attracted anyway. This one felt really
solid, and god she's cute!

I'm still a little bit AFC. After getting a Day 2 close, I am totally
hyper. I feel like I'm making progress!

Anyway, all in all, I feel like I did pretty well. I made a few jokes
in the rapport phase, and I let her walk away once before re-opening,
but overall I stayed alpha, dressed cool, kept good body language, and
had kino. I should have closed a bit more solid, but I don't feel like
it's going to be a flake.

Thanks everyone! I'll let you know how it goes :)

Review: 12-18-05 Alchemist's Bootcamp

2006-02-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

Originally Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 2:42 am

Review: 12-18-05 Alchemist's Bootcamp

10:30 - Alarm clock rings. Way too early.

10:42 and three snoozes later - shower.

11:30 - Arrive in San Jose and manage to find parking.

Our meeting place is a coffee shop next a restaurant called "Straight.
" I wasn't exactly sure where I parked, or where I was going, so I
warmed up asking for directions.

I arrived about 10 minutes early. I didn't know anyone except
Alchemist, so I asked around till I found Chad sitting outside.
(Sorry, don't know your online name.) We chatted for a few minutes
before Alchemist arrived; we met up with Positive and moved indoors.

The boot camp begins.

Alchemist first explains how his approach works. The explanation
wasn't very long at all. He went over how his game and direct works,
and answered any initial questions, and we were off to the field.

Alchemist first demonstrated a set, and sent Chad off to a moving two
set. Chad quickly stopped them, and Alchemist came in shortly while
Positive and I had an avid discussion nearby about ... women's shoes.
(We settled for pretending to play with Positive's palm after a while
.)

Alchemist really broke down the set after Chad was done. This is the
part of the boot camp I learned the most from. After every set the
student does, he breaks down what he did right and what he did could
improve.

I did my first set in Borders. But first, a little about me. I've been
going out for about two months, bordering three now. I've mostly done
indirect, since that's what I read about and that seems to be popular
opinion. After meeting up with guys from the list though, and seeing
Submachine and Alchemist and William (Sorry, don't know your list name
either,) I started experimenting with direct. I did ... well, really
bad. The reaction I'd usually get was "Umm okay, I'll be going now,"
or a bewildered look. I felt like it had merit, I just didn't feel
like I knew what I was doing though.

Anyway, I digress. She was on the escalator; I turned her around and
told her that "You are Beautiful." She looked at me and just melted.
Her whole body relaxed and she said "Aww ... wow ... aww ... that's so
sweet ... what's your name?" I introduced myself, even though I was in
shock. I was in shock for the next minute or so. It worked! I know I'm
supposed to expect it, and that I know girls are attracted to me, but
it WORKED. I was stunned.

Then I bombed the rapport phase. She asked me interview questions, and
I gave boring answers. The air was uncomfortable, and I didn't build
much rapport at all. I hadn't even thought that far ahead. I left
after an "I'm not really interested in a relationship right now."

But wow, that was a great experience.

We moved on. We went to Crate & Barrels, and then moved on to Valley
Fair Mall. We did lots of sets and got lots of critique. I can't go
over all of them. I feel like my first set still had the biggest
impact on me (it's the first time Direct worked for me,) but over the
day my direct game improved more and more. I learned how to open
better, more directly. I learned to cut down on my "excuse me" body
language. I practiced approaching on Positive (though I burst out
laughing a couple times,) and fixed things that needed to be fixed.

At the end, we grabbed some food and talked for a bit before taking
off. The boot camp's only 3 hours long, even though it's jam packed
with information and sets, it's pretty short. We debriefed, I decided
I needed to develop answers for my rapport questions, Nate-style.

All in all, it was a great experience. There's already three FRs about
the boot camp on the list, but I'll go ahead and say it again - It's
great and definitely worth it. At the end, Alchemist mentioned
developing a long term mentoring program. I think it'd be great to be
able to go over problems as they occur. I only got through attraction
and rapport today, I'm sure I'd have no clue what I'm doing once I get
any further than that. Having something there would help.

Anyway, the boot gamp was very good, and I highly encourage it. It's
also 2:30 am, so I'll highly encourage myself to go to sleep.

FR: 11-26-05 Berkeley

2006-02-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

Originally Posted: Mon Dec 5, 2005 11:19 pm

FR: 11-26-05 Berkeley

Chris and I met up to go to Berkeley for the first time. This time we
had an observer, a friend of mine I talked about the community with,
she came along just to check it out. I didn't get all that much done
today, but I learned a lot more than I normally would have, and I
finally decided I'd switch to Direct, for a bit at least.

The day was basically cut in two, before and after Alchemist,
Submachine, Peter and everyone joined us. I did about 5-10 approaches
before we met up, I still couldn't stay in set for very long. The most
memorable set was actually a warm-up set, I asked for directions and
started to leave, when she reopened me with "So where are you from?" I
kino'd a bit (I'm getting better at it, especially after watching
Lance's psychological space demo.) It didn't really go anywhere from
there, though, and I left shortly after.

The rest of the sets went pretty much like most of my sets, I'd open,
stay for a little while, and eject. I think the atmosphere is too
heavy; I need to work on a more playful atmosphere. Or just go direct.

Alchemist, Submachine, William, Peter, and the rest of the group
joined us later. Watching Alchemist work was cool as always, at one
point he approached a girl, sitting against a ledge in an outdoor
restaurant (he ended up talking to her for over an hour,) William and
I were sitting on the other side, listening and discussing the set in
Chinese.

Most of the guys today were Direct, so I had a lot of Direct
influence, but in the end there was one point where I simply couldn't
approach because – I didn't know what to say. (A girl, not working but
behind the counter. It didn't seem like a good idea to go around the
counter to ask her a quick opinion on whether shoes mattered to women
or not.)

Indirect seems to have too much structure and too inflexible, I stall
`cuz I don't know what to say (just too much to think about, too much
thinking, less in the moment.). The Direct I've been trying hasn't
really been working for me, (just going straight up and saying "I
think you're cute/beautiful/etc, I'd like to get to know you,) I'm
also not quite congruent with it, but I think Stephane's Polite-Direct
should work great.. I'll let you guys know how it goes!

A bit of Direct ...

2006-02-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

Originally Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 6:38 pm

A bit of Direct ...

I've been expirimenting with Direct ever since I met Alchemist. I've
been using Direct for pretty much all the lone wolves I meet, I still
havn't really gotten it down good enough to get into sets.

(I did try, I got yelled at by a girl's parents, dead center of
Tanforan shopping center. "GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! DON'T EVER TOUCH MY
DAUGHTER AGAIN! IF I EVER SEE YOU I CALL POLICE" - I figured she was
17, but my friends said she's probably younger which was why she got
mad. Oh boy.)

Anyway, I'd like some input on a direct set I did today.

Cutie working in Bed & Bath, I walked in, opened with:

"Hi, how may I help you?" (Credit to Jaz/Gradient ... It was one of
them, sorry I can't remember which.)

"What? ... may I help you?"

"Don't steal my lines!"

She laughs, I used Ross's "I'm glad you laughed, I saw you from
outside and thought you were really cute, but I wanted to see if you
had more to you than just that."

Now, my understanding of Direct game isn't very strong - should I have
just gone in and just told her I thought she was attractive? Should I
have milled around a bit, waited for her to come and see if everything
was okay before I opened with "May I help you?"

Now, after the opener I really don't know what to say. I was thinking
I'd go into my current opener - "I actually need an opinion on
something, since you seem like you have a decent sense of style, how
important are shoes, really?"

In this case though, she said "Oh ... are you here to buy anything?"
(Still smiling,) I responded with "Nope, I'm just here to get your
number." (Was that supplicating? It seemed like I was giving her the
power. Should I have C&Fed and said "I'd like a smile ... to go," or
something?)

Anyway, it ended up with her saying "Oh ... sorry, I don't give that
away." I had no clue how to deal, so I started talking away. She said
"Sorry, I already have a boyfriend." I responded with "That's okay, we
could be discreet" - Something alchemist said, but I have a feeling I
delivered it all wrong.

Anyway, any and all input would be great.

I read Shark's archives and did a few sets, but I still feel like I
need a stronger grasp of Direct. I don't "get it" yet. What should I
do or read to really "get" it? Any recommended authors?

OR: Night at the Castro & Sticking Point

2006-02-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

Originially Posted: Tue Nov 1, 2005 9:06 am

OR: Night at the Castro & Sticking Point

My first report on the group, I wanted it to be an FR ;/ but I seem to
have hit a sticking point and need a bit of help.

From tonight (I wasn't out sarging tonight, I was just out with
friends – but we were utterly bored so I opened a set just to show
off. We were at the Castro in SF):

Four set, one was on her cell phone when I approached (HBphone, 7). I
opened HBlatino, (HB7.5 or so,) I started with who lies more? All
three said men! I do a takeaway, turn around and say "Oh, who are
better liars then?" Women, naturally.

HBPhone gets off her phone at this point and asks "What was the
question?" We repeat it. I looked at my target (HBwhite, 8.5, for her
jacket, not her skin =)) a few times, which might have been a mistake.
I negged her with the bucktooth neg, HBlatino goes "Is that an insult?
" – Should I have C&Fed here? I said "Nope, just a fact!" The neg
seemed to have done well though.

I switch back and say "anyway, I agree, men are like the shittiest
liars, I have this friend who's in a relationship … …" G-String story.
Halfway through I realized I made the mistake of neglecting the fourth
person, HBshortie, so I directed half the story at her.

At this point I also realized my body language was facing them too
much, like I was here to stay, so I turned my body away and rocked on
my back foot as I told the story. I got a few laughs here, asked what
they thought he should do. (Shouldn't tell her, it would break the
relationship. Should I have teased them about it?) Then I asked how
they all knew each other. They said they were from a nearby city, all
go to school together, etc.

At this point I stalled. I pretty much ran out of material. The thing
is, this has happened on three separate days, multiple times. I open
fine (or at least I open,) I get a few laughs and smiles when I
transition into the G-String story, but then I stall. I tried using
the power puff a couple times, but I don't think buying temperature is
high enough. I just get a "Why? Why do I look like a power puff girl?"
It seemed too early to isolate, and I definitely didn't have the
sexual vibe yet. Should I have tried to close?

I just said "nice to meet you guys," shook a couple hands, prolonged
kino to HBwhite saying "you know, you're pretty cute. I think I'm
attracted to you." HBlatino okay "OKAY hands off she's mine" and grabs
her, walks off.

So that's my sticking point right now. It seems too early for kitten/
little sister/power puff, but I have no material left. I should
probably have negged HBwhite a bit more? Should I DHV to the group?
HBlatino seemed particularly wary, how could I have disarmed her a bit
more? (I was trying for a direct #close, but HBlatino turned out to be
the obstacle that said No.)

The other day the same thing happened, opened, transitioned into
story, stalled, eject.

This seems to be a theme, so I'm wondering what you'd recommend I do
to get over this? What other points in the sarge could I have improved
on?

Introducing ... Me!

2006-02-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

Oh man, looking at your old FRs can be so much fun :)

My blog will be a record of me and my progress as I go from AFC to PUA and everything in between :)